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요즘 가장 많이 뜨고 있는 존피터 백팩 브랜드에 대한 정보입니다.

The John Peters New York's design set the stage for industry standards and are copied by every fashion house in the world !

전 세계 가방의 Standard가 된 “존피터(John Peters New York)” 디자인

"When John Peters, the unwitting pioneer of the hippest container around,
founded his company in 1980, he didn't exactly picture Henri Bendel as the backdrop for his messenger bags, which range from $12 to 120. But as soon as high-end accessory designers like Prada and Helmut Lang turned to the streer for inspiration, Fifth Avenue establishments suddenly became his business.

A lifelong mountaineer, Peters used to make his own gear("Eastpak watched every move I ever made, "he claims), When he loaded up his VW Bug out West and landed in Manhattan, Peters asked the question, "Why can't city dwellers have the same high-tech features and closures as backpackers?"

In 1980, he applied Cordura Plus nylon to his shoulder-strap bags. Nowadays, he's justifiably paranoid when a customer comes to his East Village shop three days in a row, studies the new designs, and leaves empty-handed. Though he curses those who have capitalized on his design -- "They've already stolen my logo"-- he hasn't patented anything.

Ultimately he believes, with typical shaggy-climber humility, that his bags are "just functional." Indeed, aside from his varying shapes, closures, and colors(he's created some 400 patterns), Peters hasn't changed the basic formula from year to year. "I'm sticking with the same ballistic nylon I used back in 1983." At least they can't touch his fabric recipe. "Nobody knows my secrets," says the proud Vietnam vet."

METROPOLIS MAGAZINE / AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 1999
(courtesy : Jonathan Kantor)

"Backpacker John Peters' squarely utilitarian bags, as carried on Fifth Avenue by bike messenger-- and Henri Bendel" 



Bike Messenger들의 사랑으로 뉴욕 5번가,
뉴욕 최고의 명품관인 ‘Henri Bendel’에 서게 된 존피터 가방.

Now with his factory and design offices located near Woodstock, NY, Peters continues to design and produce the same high quality, American made classics as he has done for close to 3 decades, now under the label JOHN PETERS NEW YORK (EST. 1980).

He is also producing a special collection of bags under the label PETERS MOUNTAIN WORKS(EST. 1978).



존피터(John Peters)는 어느새 가장 앞서가는 가방의 개척자가  되었지만 1980년에 그의 회사를 설립할 때만 하더라도 뉴욕 최고의 명품관인 헨리 벤델에 그의 메신저백을 내걸지 않았다. 당시 그의 메신저백은 $12에서 $120 정도의 가격이었다. 그러나 프라다나 헬무트 랭 (Helmut Lang)과 같은 최고급 디자이너들이 영감을 얻기 위해 거리로 나오기 시작하면서 뉴욕 5번가는 그의 사업무대가 되었다.

등산을 좋아했던 존피터(John Peters)는 자신의 장비와 복장을 스스로 만들곤 했는데 이스트백(“Eastpak” )이 자신이 만들어온 디자인들을 늘 모방해 오는 점에 대해 불평해 왔다. 그가 맨하탄에 왔을 때, 존피터는 “왜 이곳 도시 사람들은 백팩커로서 모두 좋은 가방을 가지지 못했을까?”라는 의문을 제기하곤 했다.

존피터는 1980년에 “Cordura Plus nylon” 소재를 그의 숄더백에 적용했다. 요즘 John Peters는  그의 매장에 찾아온 손님들이 몇 일 내내 방문하여 새로운 디자인을 살펴보고는 빈손으로 떠나가는 것을 보면 서운해 할 만한 이유가 있다. 그는 그동안 그의 디자인을 바탕으로 돈을 벌기위해 상업화 하는 사람들에게 큰 도움을 주었지만, 정작 그는 자신의 디자인에 대해 법적인 보호를 받지 않아 결과적으로 그의 디자인을 모두 빼앗겼기 때문이다.

전형적인 등산가인 존피터는 궁극적으로 그의 가방이 기능적이다 라고 믿고 있다. 그는 이미 400개가 넘는 패턴을 만들어 왔음에도 불구하고. 디자인 모양, 재질, 색상 등에 있어서는 세월이 지나도 기본적인 형태에는 변화를 주지 않고 있다. “나는 1983년에 가방에 적용했던 같은 ballistic nylon 소재를 사용하고 있습니다.” 최소한 사람들은 John Peters의 가방 소재에 대해서도 따라오지 못하고 있는 것이었다.

백팩커인 존피터의 당당하고 실용적인 가방들은 이제, 자전거 메신저들로 부터의 인기를 바탕으로    뉴욕 5번가와 뉴욕 최고의 명품관인 헨리 벤델에서 판매하게 되었다.

존피터는 현재 뉴욕에 위치한 디자인 사무소와 공장을 통해 그가 30년 동안 만들어온 것과 같은 높은 퀄리티의 제품을 디자인 및 생산하고 있으며, 존피터뉴욕(JOHN PETERS NEW YORK)이라는 브랜드를 통해 출시되고 있다. ALL MADE IN NEW YORK.


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1. 마케팅컨설팅 이란
 
마케팅컨설팅은 시장의 마케팅 기회/위협을 발견하고, 이에 대응하기 위한 전략수립, 제품/서비스, 가격,유통, 촉진 전략을 수립하는 것이다. 당사는 항상 변화하는 경영환경 속에서 고객만족을 지향하며 기업의 성장을 도모하기 위한 마케팅 전략 컨설팅 서비스를 제공하고 있다.
 
2. 마케팅 자문
 
마케팅 자문은 기업의 제품/서비스에 대해 중장기적으로 조언을 받는 경영자문 서비스이다.기업 경영상 수시로 발생하는 각종 마케팅 문제에 대해 전문가의 지속적인 조언을 받으실 수 있는 서비스이며, 전문가가 내 제품에 대해 지속적인 관심을 갖고 조언하는 경영 파트너 서비스이다.
 
 
마케팅자문 서비스의 특징
 
종합적 (Synthesis) - 마케팅 전반에 대한 종합지도
체계적 (System) - 기업환경에 적합한 프로그램 지도
신속함 (Swiftness) - 마케팅 문제에 대한 즉석즉답 지도
경제적 (Saving) - 저렴한 비용으로 전문인력을 활용하는 서비스
지속적 (Sustainment) - 연간 지속적으로 수행하는 경영지도
 
지도방법
 
정기적인 방문 (근무) 에 의한 상담 지도 - 일, 주, 월단위
기업 필요에 따라 마케칭 문제에 대한 DB, 자료조사, 연구, 경험에 의한 지도
지도 프로그램 진행 중에도 기업 필요에 따른 변경 지도 가능
다양한 마케팅 진단 및 지도 프로그램 수시 활용
기업 필요시 전화, e-mail을 통한 지도 가능
 
지도내용
 
마케팅전략개발, 시장조사, 환경분석, 전략, 제품/가격/유통/판매촉진전략 등
컨설팅, 자문, 교육
각종 마케팅 진단 서비스 제공
 
관리방법
 
기업의 마케팅 전반에 대한 진단자료 확보
기업별 Profile 작성 및 보유 - DB관리
전단 컨설턴트 1명 지정 관리
기업 기밀 절대보호
마케팅 컨설팅 보고서, 자료, 양식이 필요한 경우 별도 계약
 
지도효과
 
기업 마케팅 문제 및 과제에 대한 전문인력의 종합적인 지도
경영자 및 임직원에 대한 컨설팅, 자문, 교육, 실행의 지속적 효과
기업의 마케팅 전문인력 부족 해결
경영자 및 임직원의 전문지식 및 스킬 제고
각종 마케팅 난제에 대한 고민 해결
3. 마케팅 기획서
 
마케팅 기획서는 기업의 마케팅 문제(마케팅조사, 마케팅전략 및 제품, 가격, 유통, 촉진전략)를 해결하기 위해 수립 한 전략 문서이다. 마케팅 계획서는 기업의 마케팅 문제에 대한 여러 가지 요인들을 조사 분석하여, 고객지향적인 가치혁신을 담아야 한다.
 
마케팅 기획서 작성의 의의
 
추진제품/서비스에 대한 체계적 접근
제품/서비스에 대한 과학적 조사, 분석, 전략수립
실행과 통제의 지침서 마련
무계획적 실행에 따른 위험요소 축소 및 제거
 
마케팅 기획서 작성의 중요성
 
제품/서비스 개발의 방향성 제시
기획자의 추진능력과 타당성 표시
제품/서비스 성공 가능성 판단 자료
미래 제품/서비스에 대한 경영자원 배분 지표
 
작성방법
 
제품/서비스 기획자와 면담
제품/서비스의 현황 파악 및 조사
제품/서비스의 기본전략수립 - 고객 및 시장지향적 접근
체계적 접근, 냉철한 판단, 창조적 기획

예) 마케팅 컨설팅(마케팅 전략 컨설팅)의 업무흐름도, framework 보기
* 아래의 프레임워크는 KMAC 마케팅 컨설팅의 자료입니다.
  KMAC 마케팅 컨설팅의 Framework은 기본과제의 진단과 이것을 통한 가설의 설정과 이슈의 도출, 이를 통한
  마케팅 전략의 목표 및 전략의 수립, 최종적으로 마케팅 믹스의 설계로 이어짐
  각각의 시행안은 그 형태에 따라 신상품, 브랜드, 이미지, 조직, 인적과제 등으로 나누어 지며, 각 과제들에
  대한 해결방안에 대해서 치적해를 제공하는 시스템입니다. (해당 홈피서..)
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사용자 삽입 이미지

선정 브랜드 : 생각대로 T

□ 브랜드 BI 개요

사용자 삽입 이미지

○ [T]는 [통신(Telecom)], [기술(Technology)], [최고(Top)], [신뢰(Trust)], [동반(Together)]를 의미하는
    것으로 최고의 기술로 고객들에게 신뢰 받는 통신 서비스를 제공하겠다는 의지를 표현하는 네이밍으로 궁극적
    으로는 유비쿼터스 네트워크를 구현하겠다는 목표를 가지고 있음.          - 출처 : 인터넷 -


□ 선정이유

 ○ T의 메시지(의미, 속성, 혜택)가 전달되지 않음.
    - 디자인, 로고, 징글 등 다양한 브랜드 요소를 동원하여 지속적인 광고를 송출함에도 불구하고 ‘T'가 무엇을
      의미하는지 알기가 어려움.
   ※ 반면, 경쟁사의 ‘SHOW'는 WCDMA의 의미와 SHOW(동영상 이미지)가 부합

 ○ 개성(독특함)이 낮음 : T라고 했을때 SKtelecom의 T가 떠오르지 않음.
    - 한국타이어 T-Station, 스마트 카드 T-money 등 강력한 브랜드가 이미 선점
    - 연상이미지가 많아서 천문학적인 광고비를 지출함에도 불구하고 아이덴티티를 정립하기가 쉽지 않아 보임.

   ※ 네이밍 이외의 다양한 브랜드 요소를 동원하여 “영상통화 정복 시리즈” 등을 소구하고 있으나 소비자에게
       인식시키기에는 무리가 있어 보임.

 ○ 로고형이 아닌 문자형으로는 법적 보호는 받기 어려워 보임

 ○ 임팩트와 텐션이 전체적으로 낮아 보임

 ○ 다만, 이동통신은 기술의 변화로 인해 진화하는 성격상 향후 여러 가지를 담아내기 위한 네이밍 그릇이 넓은
     편이라고 생각됨..

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브랜드 네이밍 사례, 베스트 네이밍까진 아니지만.. 암튼..
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사용자 삽입 이미지


□ 선정 브랜드 : Lock&Lock(락앤락)

□ 브랜드 BI 개요
 
사용자 삽입 이미지
○ 영문 “Lock(잠그다)”을 두 번 반복해서 사용하여 잠그고 또 잠근다는  의미로 뛰어난 밀폐력을 연상
○ 집을 도식화하여 전체적인 심볼의 형태를 표현함으로써 락앤락의 더 나은 아이디어로 보다 편리한 가정을
    만들겠다는 의지를 상징적으로 나타냄
○ 우측 상단에 자물쇠 또한 안전하고 믿을만한 제품을 만들겠다는 락앤락의 기업정신을 내포        
     - 출처 : Lock&Lock (락앤락) 홈페이지 -
 

□ 선정이유

<네이밍의 평가의 주요 판단기준>
 • 임팩트와 텐션 - sense of hearing, site, rhythm
 • 기능성
 • 국제성
 • 개  성
 • 등록가능
 • 내구성 등주요 판단기준

<Lock&Lock (락앤락)사례>
 • “Lock&Lock (락앤락)” 균형 잡힌 구조
 • 부르고, 듣기 좋으며, 운율이 있음
 • 속성과 특징을 정확히 표현(잠그고 잠금)
 • Lock&Lock은 해외에서도 좋은 이름
 • 기억용이, 선명한 인상(이름이 독특)
 • 등록가능 네이밍, 속성을 중심으로 강력한 브랜드 아이덴티티 구축가능


하나코비의 밀폐용기 “Lock&Lock(락앤락)”의 성공비결은 뚜껑과 몸체의 실리콘과 4면 잠금 장치, 그리고 마케팅 전략을 뽑고 있는데, 마케팅이 성공적으로 이루어지게 된 것은 네이밍이 주효했다고 생각한다.
얼마전 아내를 따라 마트를 갔을 때, 집에서 잔뜩 본적이 있던 Lock&Lock 용기를 또 고르는 것을 보고 “그거 집에 많찮아․” 라고 했던 기억이 난다.
밀폐용기 구매 계층이 아닌 내가 ‘락앤락’만을 기억하는 이유는 무엇일까? 단지 집에 있기 때문만은 아니다, 집에는 다른 브랜드 용기들도 있으며, ‘락앤락’에 대해서는 우리나라 브랜드 인줄도 모를 정도로 정보가 없었다.
‘락앤락’의 광고를 처음 접했을 때, ‘락앤락~’이라는 말을 들으면, 왠지 징글처럼 머릿속에 오래 잔상이 남는다. 이름에서 연상되는, 설명이 필요 없는 제품의 속성, 그리고 독특한 리듬의 운율 이 두가지만으로도 기억하기 용이한 선명한 인상을 주었다.

우리가 아는, 브랜드의 판단기준으로 보더라도, Lock&Lock은 락앤락은 모양이 대칭 안정감이 있고, 앞서 얘기한 바와 같이 부르기 좋고 듣기 좋은 운율도 가지고 있다. 외국인이 보더라도 이상하지 않은 의미를 가지고 있으며, 어느 누가 읽더라도 “락앤락”으로 발음된다. 특히 제품의 속성에 대해서는 “워크맨”처럼 정확하게 무엇인지를 인지시켜 줄 수 있다. 이는 소비자에게 강한 인상을 남겨적은 홍보활동으로 높은 효과를 가져오고 있다.


<참고 : 하나코비는 어떤 회사인가?>

◦ 하나코비(주)는 신개념 밀폐용기 락앤락(Lock&Lock)을 생산하는 밀폐용기 전문 기업
   - 1985년 설립 이후 주방, 욕실, 어린이용품 등 600여 가지의 다양한 생활용품을 생산해온 회사를 대표할 만한
     주력 아이템 개발의 필요성을 실감한 후, 1997년부터 회사 정책을 전면 수정하여 기존 밀폐 용기 방식과는
     다른 신개념 밀폐용기 락앤락(Lock&Lock)을 개발함.

 ◦ 2007년 9월 핵심 가치인 Simple&Speed 경영의 일환으로 분리법인을 ㈜락앤락으로 통합하고 연구개발, 제품
   생산, 영업, 마케팅 등 모든 역량을 "Lock&Lock" 브랜드 하나로 통합. 집중 육성

 ◦ 현재「락앤락」은 국내 밀폐용기 1위에 이어 83개국에 수출하고 있는 글로벌 브랜드로, 2006년 1,600억 원의
   매출을 기록함.


크리에이티브 커먼즈 라이선스
Creative Commons License
Posted by 식이네 집 ^^

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    When Gasol had to leave the game with a bloody nose, Denver coach George Karl chose seldom-used Earl Clark off the Lakers' bench to shoot Gasol's free throws with 1: 05 to play. Clark coolly made both shots to trim the Nuggets' lead to 105-99, kick-starting the Lakers' late comeback attempt.

    Antawn Jamison, who scored 33 points against the Nuggets in their previous visit to Staples Center on Nov. 20, got just four minutes of playing time, scoring two points.

    NOTES: Lakers G Chris Duhon returned after missing the past two games with back spasms. F Jordan Hill also played with a sprained right ankle.... Denver F Kenneth Faried had six points and six rebounds while playing in back-to-back games despite an illness that caused him to miss Saturday's shootaround.... Nash is five assists shy of the 10, 000th of his career. The two-time MVP had double-digit assists for the fourth straight game.... Howard had his third 20-rebound game of the season. He began the day as the NBA's third-leading rebounder this season.

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    Power of Pinpointing Accountability plus articles and information on Management

    I have always said that if I were to write a book on effective management principles, the first chapter in that book would be about the importance of pinpointing responsibility among an owner's or a general manager's reporting units. After all, one of the most popular definitions of management is getting work done through others.

    #1 Management Pitfall: An unwillingness to delegate.

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    While this may be true, when managers feel a strong need to be in total control by personally taking charge of the company's most critical tasks, they have made a very personally limiting decision. Why? Because any single person has just so many hours in a day. So managers who are poor at delegating are limited by their own personal mental and physical stamina.

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    As the business grew, however, the owner became busier and busier with involvement in other critical management functions: Banking relations, negotiating insurance programs, strategic planning, estate planning, acquiring new locations, etc. So the most current catalog was neglected and pretty soon began to look outdated.

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    The owner finally realized that while the catalog she had designed was not laid out as artfully as perhaps he could have done it himself, the project had gotten done.

    What duties and tasks are you holding onto because you perform them better than anyone else? Are you assigning responsibilities to your people and holding them accountable for measurable results?

    So ask yourself: Is the success of your business limited by your own personal physical and mental stamina? There's just so much that any one person -- no matter how talented -- can do and do well.

    #2 Management Mistake: Failure to hold your people accountable for measurable results.

    Have you ever told a manager that the next time you walk into the area of the business he or she is responsible for that you want that area to be neat and organized? Most owners and managers certainly have. Well, how about this question: Have you ever returned to inspect the manager's progress and been disappointed in what you observed?

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    The Browns' coaching search turned toward one of their former assistants.

    And, three other ex-Cleveland coaches somehow got pulled into the mix.

    On Tuesday, the team interviewed Marc Trestman, the current coach of the Montreal Alouettes and Cleveland's offensive coordinator the last time the Browns played in the AFC title game, a person familiar with the meeting told the Associated Press.

    Trestman interviewed with Chicago on Monday and arrived at the Browns' facility in suburban Berea Tuesday morning, said the person who spoke on the condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the search. He is the fifth known candidate to interview with the Browns, seeking their sixth fulltime coach since 1999 after firing Pat Shurmur last week.

    Trestman was the Browns' quarterbacks coach in 1988 and offensive coordinator in 1989, when Cleveland appeared in its third AFC championship in four years with quarterback Bernie Kosar. Trestman has extensive background as an NFL assistant, working with eight teams, most recently Miami in 2004.

    Also, the Browns asked permission to speak with Indianapolis offensive coordinator Bruce Arians, who worked as Butch Davis' offensive coordinator in Cleveland from 2001-03. Arians was admitted to an Indianapolis hospital for treatment of an inner ear infection that caused him to miss Sunday's playoff game in Baltimore, ESPN reported.

    Two other former Browns assistants made news as Nick Saban all but ruled out a return to the NFL, while Bill Cowher told Newsday he wants to coach again at some point.

    Trestman has spent the past five seasons with Montreal, leading the Alouettes to two Grey Cup titles. The 56-year-old also worked as an offensive coordinator with San francisco, Arizona and Oakland. The Raiders went to the Super Bowl at the end of the 2002 season in the offense Trestman geared for QB Rich Gannon.

    In recent years, Trestman has worked as a consultant in the NFL and in the offseason helped develop young quarterbacks, including Cleveland's Brandon Weeden, whose future with the Browns will be determined by the club's next coach.

    ''Marc is an extremely knowledgeable football mind and with his obvious success everywhere he has been proves that he knows how to develop and teach quarterbacks, '' Weeden said in a testimonial on Trestman's website.

    The Browns are not commenting on any of their interviews or candidates.

    Browns owner Jimmy Haslam and CEO Joe Banner are in the second week looking for a coach. They've interviewed several coaching candidates and are expected to meet with more this week. Trestman's interview was the first to take place in Cleveland.

    Arians, too, has had success working with young QBs. He helped groom Ben Roethlisberger into a Super Bowl winner with Pittsburgh, and this season mentored rookie Andrew Luck as the Colts went on a surprising run to the postseason.

    Haslam and Banner conducted several interviews last week in Arizona. They spent the most significant time with Chip Kelly, who decided to return to Oregon. The Browns also interviewed former Arizona coach Ken Whisenhunt, Cardinals defensive coordinator Ray Horton, former Syracuse coach Doug Marrone, who was hired by Buffalo, and Penn State's Bill O'Brien.

    If the team was even thinking about contacting Saban about its vacancy, Alabama's coach made it clear the NFL is in his past - not his future.

    The Browns may have considered calling Saban, who coached in Miami for two years before taking over the Crimson Tide's program. However, fresh off winning his third national title in four years, the 61-year-old reiterated that he's content at Alabama and outlined several reasons why he prefers the college game.

    Saban worked as an assistant in Cleveland under Bill Belichick, and there has long been speculation he might one day return to the Browns. He did his best to end that discussion for good on the morning after Alabama's 42-14 throttling of Notre Dame.

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    ''I didn't feel like I could impact the team the same way that i can as a college coach in terms of affecting people's lives personally, helping them develop careers by graduating from school, off the field, by helping develop them as football players, '' Saban said. ''And there's a lot of self-gratification in all that, all right, http://www.csnbroncos.com/ Manning Elite nike Jersey?

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    The timing of Cowher's comments are interesting. With five teams still looking for a coach, Cowher said at a CBS function to promote coverage of the Super Bowl that he probably will return to the NFL.

    ''It would be a challenge, '' said Cowher, who has been a broadcaster since leaving the Steelers in 2006, ''but I think that's probably why I would get back into it, because of the challenge. ''

    Cowher played linebacker for the Browns before he was an assistant on Marty Schottenheimer's staff. He dismissed the idea the game has changed too much since he left.

    ''I did it for 27 years, '' he said. ''You don't just forget things overnight. ''

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    Nick Saban, the undisputed emperor of college football, has everything he could ever want in Tuscaloosa: Three national titles in four seasons; a great shot at another one a year from now; the best players; no static from anyone, including the browbeaten reporters who cover him; and the whole world kissing his feet.

    Thus it's no surprise that i think Saban, whose name has naturally come up in conversations among some NFL teams conducting coaching searches, should stay in Tuscaloosa.


    Nick Saban is dunked with Gatorade in the final seconds of the BCS title game win over Notre Dame. (AP)Yet there's another, far more compelling reason Saban should stick to the college game: He's too much of a hard ass — and too much of a lightweight — to survive in the big leagues.

    As with Crash Davis, he's far more suited to being the king of the minors.

    After coaching Alabama to a 42-14 victory in Monday night's BCS title game, Saban told reporters he's staying at the school, saying, "Maybe this is where I belong, and I'm really happy and at peace with that. "

    Then again, this is the same man who declared in December of 2006, "I guess I have to say it: I'm not going to be the Alabama coach. "

    Less than two weeks later, he left the Miami Dolphins to become the Alabama coach. So pardon me if i don't consider his word stronger than oak.

    This is not to say that i disagree with Saban's sensibilities: College football is where he belongs. When you are such an intractable, humorless control freak that you react to a team employee commenting benignly upon your haircut by issuing a decree that staffers outside of football operations can no longer speak to you in the hallways, as Saban apparently did during his two-year stint with the Dolphins, it's a clear-cut sign that professional football is not for you.

    [More: ESPN apologizes for announcer's fawning over AJ McCarron's girlfriend]

    Saban is the worst kind of bully, an autocrat so consumed with his power — and making the people under him feel that power, at every opportunity — that his ill-tempered insecurity supersedes all else. The lower level the employee, the higher the likelihood that Saban would pull a power trip. Yes, he was a wonderful boss.

    You can get away with that boorish behavior in a college town where everything revolves around the university's football program, and where you can lord your authority over players whose scholarships and NFL futures hang in the balance. Making dissent even less likely is the reality that the young men you coach cycle through the program every three-to-five years, and only have to be around you for a limited, NCAA-mandated number of hours per week.

    In the NFL, where up-front money and salary-cap concerns make certain players difficult to cut or trade and where veteran leadership is essential for locker-room stability, Saban's style is an impediment to sustained success.

    He also spent an inordinate amount of time obsessing over the media coverage of his team — and trying to control it. Alas, in the six years since he's been gone, the attention paid to the NFL has intensified immensely. Watching Saban try to control his players' Twitter accounts alone would be high comedy.


    Nick Saban argues with a head linesman while with the Dolphins in 2006. (USA Today Sports Images) He is a good enough coach, especially on the defensive side of the ball, that he wasn't a complete disaster in Miami, going 15-17 before lying like John Edwards and fleeing like Saddam Hussein. As a leader, Saban was overmatched, and he knew it. And if the 61-year-old coach were to return to the NFL now, I believe he'd fail miserably. For one thing, his reputation would precede him in league circles — and that would not be a positive development.

    I was reminded of Saban's unpopular NFL past last Saturday while enjoying some Chinese food with Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo at a Towson, Md., restaurant. Ayanbadejo, a thoughtful veteran who has played for a healthy spectrum of head coaches during his 14-year professional career, recalled being summoned to Saban's office in 2005 after learning he'd been traded to the Chicago Bears.

    When Saban asked him if he had anything to say before he departed, Ayanbadejo replied, "You're a good coach. You should devote more time to coaching and less time to being a jerk. "

    Ayanbadejo recalled during our conversation many of the infamous incidents that occurred during Saban's tenure, some of which were documented adroitly by South Florida Sun Sentinel columnist Dave Hyde last Saturday.

    There was the time Saban stepped over a convulsing player, heat-stricken guard Jeno James, as he made his way through a narrow hallway, provoking a contentious team meeting. There were the frequent chewing-out sessions — of assistant coaches, team staffers and players — and the time when veteran linebacker Zach Thomas yelled back, becoming an even more revered figure in the facility.

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    It's not as if I needed the refresher course from Ayanbadejo to form my opinion regarding Saban. Over the years I've spoken to enough players, assistant coaches and front-office executives who were with him in Miami to conclude that he was too consumed with trivial issues to run a successful, big-picture operation.

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    [Related: Draft stock in question after subpar BCS performance by Manti Te'o]

    The players told Saban that they agreed with his demanding approach to practice, that they welcomed the hard work and the insistence that they go the extra mile. They had just one request: During the five-minute warm-up period at the start of practice, as they stretched amid the South Florida heat and humidity, they preferred to remove their helmets.

    Saban nodded and told them he understood their rationale. Though he didn't specifically grant it, he gave the distinct impression that helmets would no longer be required during warm-ups.

    Recalled one player who was on the council: "The next morning, Junior Seau started stretching without a helmet, and Saban jumped him: 'What the [expletive] are you doing with your helmet off? We wear helmets at practice! ' After that, the whole leadership-council thing was kind of a joke. "


    Nick Saban hoists his fourth college national championship trophy. (AP) This is not to suggest that strict, demanding coaches are incapable of winning big in the NFL. The Lombardi Trophy is named after a no-nonsense authoritarian, and the current coach who has collected three of those — Saban's good buddy Bill Belichick — isn't exactly known for his peppy, egalitarian leadership style.

    That said, Belichick is more adaptable and cognizant of what's truly important than Saban. He learned from his first NFL coaching experience, a frustrating four-year stint with the Cleveland Browns, and developed a keener sense of when to put his foot down (or into an employee's nether region) and when to ease off the gas pedal.

    As so many of Belichick's failed disciples have learned the hard way — yes, Josh McDaniels, Eric Mangini and Scott Pioli, I'm talking to you — that emulating the master's nuanced approach to running a franchise isn't easy. Belichick can be crass, and he tends not to take any crap, but a whole lot of respected veterans (including Seau, for what it's worth) have truly enjoyed playing for the Patriots during his tenure.

    Similarly, Tom Coughlin eased back on his dictatorial sensibilities before guiding the Giants to a pair of Super Bowl titles. He's still far from mellow, but he commands far more respect within his organization than Saban ever did with the Dolphins.

    I'm sure that Saban, given his competitive instincts, has fantasies about returning to the pros and showing that he can be a champion on the big stage. That's understandable, but it's only a fantasy.

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    #2 Management Mistake: Failure to hold your people accountable for measurable results.

    Have you ever told a manager that the next time you walk into the area of the business he or she is responsible for that you want that area to be neat and organized? Most owners and managers certainly have. Well, how about this question: Have you ever returned to inspect the manager's progress and been disappointed in what you observed http://www.shopthesf49ersgear.com/womens-colin-kaepernick-super-bowl-jersey/ Colin Kaepernick Youth Jersey?

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    How many new customers and how much sales volume must a salesperson attract to the business in a given period of time?

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    (Bill Lee is author of Gross Margin: 26 Factors Affecting Your Bottom Line. To order, see shopping cart at www.mygrossmargin.com. Or call 800-808-0534. US$29.95 plus $5 S&H)

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    Learning the Piano and Playing the Piano plus articles and information on Music

    Many piano students spend much time learning how to play the piano. Years upon years of study time devoted to perfecting technique, tone, dynamics, etc. All the while, many of these same students have never really played the piano. That is, they have spent their time practicing in preparation for the moment when they can "perform" for others.

    Wouldn't it be refreshing if instead of learning how to play other peoples music, we could feel confident enough to create our own? Why is it so daunting a task for most of us? I think it's because we've been taught that only a very few gifted individuals are capable of producing music from scratch - whatever the genre. Rock, jazz, classical etc. Unfortunately http://www.shopthesf49ersgear.com/ Kaepernick Red Jersey, this belief is enough to stop most dead in their tracks and for those, whose spark of interest was lit in childhood, it soon turns cold and lifeless.

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    The solution is to understand that we all have our own special music inside of us and each and every one of us has something wonderful to share with the world. This something comes through when we stop learning how to play the piano and begin to play it truly for the first time.

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    The Philadelphia Eagles interviewed Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly for their coaching vacancy, a person familiar with the meeting told The Associated Press.

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    Very first baseman Puncture Berkman decided to the one-year, $10 zillion agreement using the Tx Rangers, ESPN documented Sunday.

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    Nobody was happier about the Hall of Fame shutout than the Hall of Famers themselves.

    Goose Gossage, Al Kaline, Dennis Eckersley and others are in no rush to open the door to Cooperstown for anyone linked to steroids.

    Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Sammy Sosa: Keep 'em all out of our club.

    ''If they let these guys in ever - at any point - it's a big black eye for the Hall and for baseball, '' Gossage said in a phone interview with The Associated Press. ''It's like telling our kids you can cheat, you can do whatever you want, and it's not going to matter. ''

    For only the second time in 42 years, baseball writers failed to elect anyone to the Hall of Fame on Wednesday, sending a firm signal that stars of the Steroids Era will be held to a different standard.

    All the awards and accomplishments collected over storied careers by Bonds, Clemens and Sosa - all eligible for the first time - could not offset suspicions those exploits were artificially boosted by performance-enhancing drugs.

    ''I'm kind of glad that nobody got in this year, '' Kaline said. ''I feel honored to be in the Hall of Fame. And I would've felt a little uneasy sitting up there on the stage, listening to some of these new guys talk about how great they were. ''

    Gossage went even further.

    ''I think the steroids guys that are under suspicion got too many votes, '' he said. ''I don't know why they're making this such a question and why there's so much debate. To me, they cheated. Are we going to reward these guys? ''

    Not this year, at least.

    Bonds received just 36. 2 percent of the vote and Clemens 37. 6 in totals announced by the Hall and the Baseball Writers' Association of America, both well short of the 75 percent needed for election - yet still too close for Gossage's taste. Sosa, eighth on the career home run list, got 12. 5 percent.

    ''Wow! Baseball writers make a statement, '' Eckersley wrote on Twitter. ''Feels right. ''

    The results keep the sport's career home run leader (Bonds) and most decorated pitcher (Clemens) out of Cooperstown - for now. Bonds, Clemens and Sosa have up to 14 more years on the writers' ballot to gain baseball's highest honor.

    Bonds, baseball's only seven-time MVP, hit 762 home runs - including a record 73 in 2001. He has denied knowingly using performance-enhancing drugs and was convicted of one count of obstruction of justice for giving an evasive answer in 2003 to a grand jury investigating PEDs.

    Clemens, the game's lone seven-time Cy Young Award winner, is third in career strikeouts (4, 672) and ninth in wins (354). He was acquitted of perjury charges stemming from congressional testimony during which he denied using PEDs.

    ''If you don't think Roger Clemens cheated, you're burying your head in the sand, '' Gossage said.

    Sosa, who finished with 609 home runs, was among those who tested positive in MLB's 2003 anonymous survey, The New York Times reported in 2009. He told a congressional committee in 2005 that he never took illegal performance-enhancing drugs. He also was caught using a corked bat during his career.

    ''What really gets me is seeing how some of these players associated with drugs have jumped over many of the greats in our game, '' Kaline said. ''Numbers mean a lot in baseball, maybe more so than in any other sport. And going back to Babe Ruth, and players like Harmon Killebrew and Frank Robinson and Willie Mays, seeing people jump over them with 600, 700 home runs, I don't like to see that.

    ''I don't know how great some of these players up for election would've been without drugs. But to me, it's cheating, '' he added. ''Numbers are important, but so is integrity and character. Some of these guys might get in someday. But for a year or two, I'm glad they didn't. ''

    Gossage, noting that cyclist Lance Armstrong was stripped of his seven Tour de France titles following allegations that he used performance-enhancing drugs, believes baseball should go just as far. He thinks the record book should be overhauled, taking away the accomplishments of players like Bonds, Sosa, Rafael Palmeiro and Mark McGwire - who has admitted using steroids and human growth hormone during his playing days.

    McGwire, 10th on the career home run chart, received 16. 9 percent of the vote on his seventh Hall try, down from 19. 5 last year.

    ''I don't know if baseball knows how to deal with this at all, '' Gossage said. ''Why don't they strip these guys of all these numbers? You've got to suffer the consequences. You get caught cheating on a test, you get expelled from school. ''

    Juan Marichal is one Hall of Famer who doesn't see it that way. The former pitcher believes Bonds, Clemens and Sosa belong in Cooperstown.

    ''I think that they have been unfair to guys who were never found guilty of anything, '' Marichal said. ''Their stats define them as immortals. That's the reality and that cannot be denied. ''

    The BBWAA election rules say ''voting shall be based upon the player's record, playing ability, integrity, sportsmanship, character, and contributions to the team(s) on which the player played. ''

    While much of the focus this year was on Bonds, Clemens and Sosa, every other player with Cooperstown credentials was denied, too.

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    ''What we're witnessing here is innocent people paying for the sinners, '' Marichal said.

    Hall of Fame slugger Mike Schmidt said that comes with the territory.

    ''It's not news that Bonds, Clemens, Sosa, Palmeiro, and McGwire didn't get in, but that they received hardly any consideration at all. The real news is that Biggio and Piazza were well under the 75 percent needed, '' Schmidt wrote in an email to the AP.

    ''Curt Schilling made a good point. Everyone was guilty. Either you used PEDs, or you did nothing to stop their use. This generation got rich. Seems there was a price to pay. ''

    At ceremonies in Cooperstown on July 28, the only inductees will be three men who died more than 70 years ago: Yankees owner Jacob Ruppert, umpire Hank O'Day and barehanded catcher Deacon White. They were chosen last month by the 16-member panel considering individuals from the era before integration in 1947.

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    Even though La Lakers possess influenced lots of powerful feelings throughout their title-laden background, the actual Colorado Nuggets experienced some thing which has been uncommon within current years.

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    Ity Lawson experienced twenty one factors as well as 10 aids, Danilo Gallinari obtained 20 factors as well as strike a large 3-pointer along with 13. 8 mere seconds remaining, and also the Nuggets defeat the actual battling Lakers 112-105 Weekend evening for his or her 5th earn within 7 video games.

    JaVale McGee obtained seventeen factors for that Nuggets, that demonstrated absolutely no indicators associated with weariness following a house conquer Ut 1 evening previously. In spite of 2 last-minute 3-pointers through Kobe Bryant, Colorado comfortably taken care of the guide through the 4th one fourth associated with it's 2nd earn within 12 times within the star-studded Lakers, that are not precisely placing concern or even fury to their competitors.

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    Staples Middle had been mainly quiet whilst La fallen in order to 15-18 along with an additional average overall performance showcasing eighteen turnovers, irregular protection as well as small organised criminal offense lower the actual extend. Bryant obtained twenty nine factors as well as Dwight Howard experienced fourteen factors along with a profession high-tying twenty six rebounds for that Lakers, who've dropped 3 directly as well as 4 associated with 5.

    ''(We are) a great group, and it is improving, '' Karl stated. ''I simply do not would like to get as well insane by using it. ''

    Even if the actual Lakers do points correct, these people nevertheless proceeded to go incorrect. Bryant's 3-pointer along with thirty six mere seconds remaining reduce Denver's result in 105-102, as well as Howard undoubtedly obstructed Andre Miller's layup try about the Nuggets' following ownership -- however the golf ball proceeded to go right to Gallinari, that instantly exhausted the 3-pointer along with 13. 8 mere seconds remaining.

    Once again, the actual Nuggets had been nearly apologetic for that critical perform in only their own 5th street conquer the actual Lakers within twenty six conferences.

    ''It had been the fortunate rebound, '' Gallinari stated. ''Dwight obstructed the actual chance, and also the golf ball returned in my experience, as well as Metta Globe Serenity had been immediately, prepared to prevent my personal chance. You do not have considerable time to consider, particularly for the reason that scenario, and so i needed to discharge this extremely swift. ''

    The actual Nuggets strung onto their own guide along with large past due containers through Burns as well as Lawson, in whose layup place Colorado forward through 8 factors along with 1: eighteen in order to perform. Following Gallinari's large chance, Bryant strike an additional 3-pointer along with 11. two mere seconds remaining, however Burns strike 2 free of charge tosses prior to Bryant skipped an additional eager 3-point attempt.

    The actual Lakers' locker space had been because quiet because their own industry following their own 8th house lack of the actual still-young period.

    ''I believe due to the report, the actual stress is actually creating, however therefore whether it is, '' Lakers trainer Paul D'Antoni stated. ''We need to conquer this, as well as we are able to. All of us cannot allow groups begin along with thirty four factors within the very first one fourth. This cannot occur. We are beginning to seek out each and every online game, as well as in some way we must attempt to determine the reason why that is occurring. ''

    Howard experienced a remarkable online game about the planks in spite of a good hurt correct make, coordinating their profession full of rebounds within the last min's. However he or she required simply 7 pictures -- producing them all aside from the 3-point try -- as well as proceeded to go two with regard to 6 about the free-throw collection.

    Following the online game, the actual Lakers stated Howard irritated their make damage. He'll come with an MRI examination upon Mon prior to the Lakers depart for any fast two-game day at Tx, as well as Howard did not understand regardless of whether he will perform Wednesday from Houston.

    ''Everything is actually towards all of us at this time, however we must maintain the mind as well as remain collectively, '' Howard stated. ''It is actually difficult available, simply because everyone needs all of us in order to earn, however we must stay collectively. ''

    Dorrie Nash experienced 10 factors as well as 13 aids for that Lakers, whilst Pau Gasol experienced 11 factors as well as 5 rebounds prior to departing having a weakling nasal area along with 1: 05 in order to perform inside a crash along with McGee.

    Andre Iguodala experienced 15 factors, 7 aids as well as 6 rebounds for that Nuggets, as well as Burns completed along with 12 factors as well as 10 aids.

    ''I believe groups continue to be getting out of bed in order to perform all of them, '' Iguodala stated. ''I imply, each time all of us perform the actual Lakers, I wish to perform nicely as well as you want to perform nicely. You have simply reached proceed perform with full confidence and become psychologically prepared. ''

    Whenever Gasol needed to depart the overall game having a weakling nasal area, Colorado trainer George Karl selected seldom-used Earl Clark from the Lakers' table in order to take Gasol's free of charge tosses along with 1: 05 in order to perform. Clark coolly created each pictures in order to cut the actual Nuggets' result in 105-99, kick-starting the actual Lakers' past due return try.

    Antawn Jamison, that obtained thirty-three factors from the Nuggets within their prior trip to Staples Target November. 20, obtained simply 4 min's associated with actively playing period, rating 2 factors.

    INFORMATION: Lakers Grams Bob Duhon came back following lacking yesteryear 2 video games along with back again jerks. Farrenheit The nike jordan Slope additionally used the sprained correct ankle joint.... Colorado Farrenheit Kenneth Faried experienced 6 factors as well as 6 rebounds whilst actively playing within back-to-back video games in spite of a disease which triggered him or her in order to skip Saturday's shootaround.... Nash is actually 5 aids timid from the 10, 000th associated with their profession. The actual two-time MVP experienced double-digit aids for that 4th directly online game.... Howard experienced their 3rd 20-rebound online game from the period. He or she started your day since the NBA's third-leading rebounder this year.

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    《黄夏留教授的故事汇编》

    黄夏留,南方人,经贸大学教授。说话慢声细语,娓娓道来,常有惊人之语,就看你
    怎么听。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    〔一〕考试作弊

    有一次,社会主义经济学(简称∶社经)考试时作弊严重,黄教授义正辞严地训斥了
    大家,“……这次‘社经’考试,‘操’(南方口音‘抄’,下同)的现象很严重,
    有的男的‘操’男的,有的女的‘操’女的,还有男女互相‘操’;有的从前面‘
    操’,有的从后面‘操’;有的在暗处偷偷‘操’,有的竟明目张胆公开‘操’,个
    别人几乎把全班人都‘操’遍了。只有一个同学没有‘操’,他的名字叫‘杨委’
    ……”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    〔二〕到岸价与离岸价

    有一次上外贸课,有同学提出到岸价格与离岸价格的英文代号很难记。黄夏留教授随
    口说到:“记英文不能傻记,要讲究巧,有时还得用点儿邪门歪道,目的就是为了记
    得牢。比如到岸价格的英文代号是CIF(Cost,Insurance,Fre
    ight),离岸价格的英文代号是FOB(Free On Board)。死记
    硬背怕是记不长久。其实这两个代号可以这样记:CIF - Can I Fuc
    k?FOB - Free On Bed!……”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    〔三〕校名

    有一年老黄参加北大校庆。在一个小型座谈会上轮到他发言:“前几年没参加校庆活
    动是因为社交活动太多。我申明一句,社可不是射精的射,这交倒是性交的交。我今
    天讲的主题是关于咱这校名。解放前咱叫P大(Peking大学),沦陷后咱叫B
    大(Beijing大学)。于是两岸就相互攻击,新的骂老的屁大,老的骂新的逼
    大,然后又合起来骂更老的眼大(燕京大学)。甭管什么大,大家指的是一回事。一
    个校名尚且不能统一,谈何国家的统一?名不正则言不顺!幸亏我后来转到上海妇
    蛋,省了名称的争吵所带来的烦恼。”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    〔四〕双胞胎

    有一次系里政治学习,大伙儿非让老黄来个笑话调剂一下。黄教授推不过,正好看到
    系里有名的美人刘秘书的一对双胞胎男孩在打闹,就顺口讲起来:“一对双胞胎在里
    面吵架,都想先出去,因为先出去的就成哥哥了。正这时,响起一阵声音,‘嘘…
    ’,两人悄声,‘爸爸进来了’……”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    〔五〕批斗会

    文革前后,系里的教授基本上都挨过整。最悲壮的一次是批斗‘社经’室主任老曹那
    次全系大会。老曹他儿子小曹揭发他调戏儿媳妇。黄教授见老哥们儿受难,压不住心
    头怒火,走到前台指着小曹说:“你小子还有良心没有?你爹才吃你老婆一口奶,你
    就翻脸不认爹了,你当年吃你爹他老婆的奶吃了两年,你爹他哼一声了吗?”在场群
    众无不为老黄的话所感动,革委会主任和工宣队长的眼泪刷的就下来了,当即宣布散
    会,让老曹写份检讨了事。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    〔六〕锁车

    有一次上‘社经’理论课,黄教授匆匆忙忙忘了系上裤子的风纪扣。坐在前排的一位
    女生看见了又不好意思直说,于是委婉地说:“黄老师,您的自行车忘锁了。”老黄?
    鞘裁慈耍砩暇头从戳耍骸澳悄憧吹轿业某盗寺穑俊迸骋缓焖担骸翱吹搅
    恕!薄拔业牧礁雎肿邮遣皇敲黄玻俊薄安唬雇ψ愕摹!崩匣婆读艘簧担骸澳
    蔷秃茫蔷秃谩O旅嫖颐强佳啊缇砺鄣募父鍪导视τ谩!彼底牛媸纸
    邓稀?

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    〔七〕儿歌

    一日,黄夏留教授稀里糊涂被俩同事拽到礼堂,台下观众欢呼让老黄来一个节目。老
    黄问清是计划生育表彰会,就来了个儿歌新唱∶“路边有个避孕套,路边有个避孕
    套,避孕套妹妹上学看见了,看见了,看见了,看见了避孕套虽然薄,计划生育少不
    了捡起来,瞧一瞧,擦擦干净多么好送给工人叔叔,把它装在鸡鸡上,嘿阿姨放心我
    们拍手笑”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    〔八〕铁梅

    文革期间样板戏流行。一次排练《红灯记》,黄教授因形象不好,只被安排刻蜡版抄
    台词。老黄凭着强健的记忆,稀哩哗啦很快就刻完了,没怎么看原稿。其中一段铁梅
    的唱词变成“我家的表叔数不清,没有大婶儿不登门……”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    〔九〕妇女大会

    老黄倒霉时曾被遣送回乡。“三八”节县长要到某区妇女会上讲演,知老黄能写,就
    逼他写个讲演稿。老黄特烦这混蛋,就凑了一篇,县长还一字不差地念了:“…我是
    搞妇女的,很有经验。最近我到你们下面摸了一下,搞到了第一手资料。我是个大老
    粗,到底有多粗,你们妇女主任最清楚。昨晚我跟她整扯了一宿。开始她不知我的长
    短,我不知她的深浅,躲躲闪闪就是搞不到一块。经过多次交锋,将心比心,情况终
    于摆到了桌面上。伪装既然剥去,下面就好干了。我们针对焦点,摆正姿势,一鼓作
    气,深入浅出,坚持不懈,直到积压许久的问题得到彻底解决。真是一泄如注,痛快
    淋漓啊。最后她高兴,我满意,这有多好!……全体妇女同志站起来”在场的女同志
    因惧怕县长的淫威,都站了起来等待指示。县长舔了一下指头翻了一页接着念:“
    了!”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    〔十〕批黄书

    文革那会儿常批黄书。有一回批《少女之心》,老黄愤怒地说:“《少女之心》是什
    么烂书?里面的性描写还不如香港《龙虎豹》杂志里的色情小说写的好,也就是骗骗
    孩子。要论文学性与色情都比较杰出的作品当数我国古典名著《金瓶梅》。不过在色
    情描写上达到登峰造极的作品要算我国第一大淫书《肉蒲团》,又有人雅称为《玉蒲
    团》。这部百回之巨的作品通篇只有一个主题:性交。我国现存该书不多,还都在中
    央领导同志手中传来传去,有好几年没回图书馆了。听说主席盥洗室里常年放着三套
    书,一套是原版《肉蒲团》,一套是德译本《肉蒲团》,一套是原版《资本论》。主
    席就是靠对照读两本《肉蒲团》学习德语,然后再啃原版《资本论》,省得叫翻译者
    蒙了。咱们真该向他老人家学习。”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    〔十一〕当前任务

    黄夏留教授乃中华社经界泰斗(社经之全称为社会主义经济学)。一次北京计院(全
    称北京计算机学院,即北工大一分校)与北京职业技院(全称为北京职业技术教育学
    院,即北师大二分校)联席会议邀请老黄作关于当前形势与社经的报告。一开头就谈
    到我党目前三大任务:一、开放搞活经济,二、提高社会主义精神文明,三、清理精
    神污染。老黄认为该三任务虽提得响亮,却难记,不如记成“一开搞,二社精,三清
    污”来得容易。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    〔十二〕煎鸡蛋

    放假了,同学们去黄教授家聚餐,每人做一道菜。轮到黄教授那道,是普普通通的煎
    鸡蛋。老黄首先宣布配额:“男同学每人两个蛋,女同学随便吃!另外,因为锅子太
    小,只能轮煎,也就是一个一个地煎。大家排队一个一个来。”说完就进了厨房。排
    在第一的男生说:“黄老师,我的蛋要焦一些。”老黄应道:“成,我就用急火强
    煎。”轮到第二个是个女生,挤眉弄眼一番说:“我要吃嫩一些的。”老黄说:“好
    啊,那我就改慢火诱煎。”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    〔十三〕译名

    黄教授谈到外语译名时语重心长地说:“有同学恨外语,把English叫鹰哥拉
    屎,French叫粪池,Spanish叫稀巴泥屎,Russian叫拉屎,反
    正外语等于屎。其实外语很重要。前些年北京在复兴门盖了座饭店,起名为复兴饭
    店。我一听就急了,追到城建局告诉他们那汉语拼音是Fuxing,容易让老外误
    认为是性交饭店。后来他们接受意见,改成如今的燕京饭店了。还有一些译名有疑
    问,如上海工业学院Shang Hai Institute of Techn
    ology简称SHIT。译名可褒可贬,象Chopin译作肖邦就是褒,要译成
    操逼就连他的音乐也臭了。我至今也没弄懂,丫挺的帝国主义国家的译名怎么都那么
    好听,比如美国本来是阿妹日卡,怎就他妈的成了美国?还有德国本应是盗姨痴,法
    国是妇卵湿,结果译过来后人家又有道德又懂法律。丫的火烧圆明园那会儿有道德懂
    法律?这不是灭我们自己的威风吗!”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    放屁

    有一次一位女生在课上放了一响屁,大家窃笑,有人捂鼻子,搞得那女生一大红脸。
    黄教授说:“笑什么!屁是人身之气,哪有不放之理。怎么着,嫌臭?要是谁放一屁
    带香味,准是得了艾滋病之类的绝症了。既然说到屁,你们发现没有一个规律,就
    是:面黄瘠瘦,放屁蔫臭;块大膘肥,放屁如雷?还有的人总结在公共场所的放屁策
    略:屁声较小,目标难找;屁声太大,自己尴尬。从屁味方面讲就是:屁味不重,最
    多一哄;屁味不淡,一片抱怨。不管怎么说,放屁是一个自然现象,没什么大惊小怪
    的。不过也是要讲究辩证法,大家听听对不对:有屁不放,憋坏五脏;没屁乱挤,挤
    坏身体。”说着,老黄自己放了一屁。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    活猪、腊肠

    有一次黄教授家晚饭上了一道腊肠。黄教授的儿子对大伙儿说:“听说海外一帮哥们
    发明了一种机器,这边活猪塞进去,那边腊肠就出来了。我觉得这机器要是变成这边
    腊肠塞进去,那边活猪出来了,那才真绝哪。海外也在征集这项设计哪。”老黄听了
    哼了一声:“这有什么新鲜的,你妈不就是那现成的机器吗?我这儿腊肠塞进去,你
    这头活猪不就出来了!”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    数字歌

    黄教授有感于小孙女识数之艰难,遂编一数字歌,易学易记,琅琅上口。
    一天晚上,二人上床。三更半夜,四脚朝上。五(捂)着屁股,六(扭)着乳房。
    七(骑)马扬鞭,八(拔)枪就放。九(久)一次,十分舒畅。有人会问,既然是拔
    枪就放,
    又如何能久久一次呢?好在这只是儿童读物,也就不须过于追究细节了。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    郑重声明

    物转星移,暑尽寒来。黄教授近日乘黄牛出关,闻听得冒牌黄教授经常出入牛圃,
    招摇撞骗,其文风不正,实有辱黄教授风范,特此声明如下:

    黄河之水天上来,巴颜喀拉出瑶台。
    清渠为有冰川水,浊流只缘尘世埃。
    才子吹箫三分意,佳人解衫一半开。
    劝君莫学邯郸步,免得张冠被李戴。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    口试笔试

    黄教授吸取了前几届招研的经验教训,决定这次招生一定要高标准、严要求,宁缺勿
    滥,再也不能收诸如杨委、谢晶这样的角色进来了。考试有口试和笔试,所有的考生
    都要先经过一个小时的口试,只有那些最强壮、最有经验的大姑娘小伙子才能熬得过
    来。然后还要经过更严格的、更长时间的笔试,直把所有的考生都搞的汗流浃背,气
    喘如牛。但这还不算过了关,黄教授还存了一点私心,他总是挑选那些会开些后门
    的。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    打麻将

    某日,黄教授陪三位女宾打麻将,手上这副牌打成了黄庄,且听他们的一段对话:
    甲女:(面带愠色地)教授老是在我下面碰啊、杠啊,把我都搞死了......
    乙女:(倦态可掬地)我一直在自摸一洞,哪晓得教授一人就摸了三个一洞......
    丙女:(不无幽怨地)我一直在等么鸡,可是教授始终捂着他的小鸡不肯放一
    炮......
    黄教授:(瞠目结舌地)......

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    足球教练

    学校搞足球联赛,规定男女球员须各占一半。研究生队请了德高望重的黄教授来当教
    练。赛前准备会上,黄教授精辟地分析了本队的优劣之处:“我们的作战方针是:男
    主攻,女主守,谢晶速度快,打前锋;杨委速度慢,打助攻;毕云涛稳健,打中场。
    女同学要把防守的任务担起来,殷茅嫦,刘碧雪,岳晶黛三个后卫要做到球到哪里就
    逼到哪里,攻其敌人下三路,左右配合,前后夹鸡。最后要提一下我们人称‘钢门’
    的门将钱妩凤,敌人就是球到门前,也射不进去。”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    荤谜素猜

    黄教授是一位制虎高手,常有佳作,令人拍案叫绝。请看以下几则谜语:

    谜一:禁止肛交口交(打一成语)
    谜二:少年河边搞性交(打毛主席词一句)
    谜三:一头毛来一头光,进进出出冒白浆(打一日常用品)
    谜四:掀开热被窝,就往腿上摸,掰开两条腿,就往眼上搁(打一日常用品)

    谜一:谜二:谜三:谜四:

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    月月新娘

    黄教授在深圳创立了“黄夏”睾蝌妓人工膜公司。深圳那无处不在的“爱的手术,保
    证见红”大型霓虹牌就是“黄夏”公司的广告。开业半年,客满为患,从十三岁小姑
    娘到七十九岁老太太都从各地慕名前来求医。中央领导欣然题词:“天生一个仙人
    洞,暮色苍茫看劲松,血飞顿作倾盆雨,祖国山河一片红。”黄教授接受专访时说:
    “我公司是开放搞活的产物。大家都搞,搞破了就不好办了。为大家搞的动作能大一
    点,我公司就应运而生了。”黄教授顿了一下,点着一根“红塔山”,“我公司下一
    代产品已研制成功,我们采用仿生学最新成果,模仿壁虎断尾再生过程,‘她’有自
    动再生能力,每月一个周期,无论怎么搞,一月下来,完好如处。”黄教授激动地吟
    诵起主席的忆秦娥来:“雄关漫道真如铁,而今迈步从头越,从头越,夜夜新娘,月
    月有血……”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    广告

    有感于拙劣的广播电视广告泛滥,黄教授感慨道:“想当年我搞的一个广告,简简单
    单,大大方方,琅琅上口,妇孺皆知。现在四十五岁以上的女同志都知道,‘跃进牌
    月经带,越戴越经戴’”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    权力

    一天,黄夏留教授与两位朋友一块儿喝酒。酒至半酣,这两位为了谁的权力大吵了起
    来。一位是环保局的, http://www.csnclippers.com/ Clippers Blake Griffin Swingman Jersey,另一位是计划生育办公室的,吵得不可开交,黄教授连忙和稀
    泥,说:“两位别吵,你们的权力都够大的。”对第一位说:“你呀,上管天,下管
    地,中间还要管空气。”说得这位洋洋自得。老黄看第二位脸上就要挂不住,赶紧接
    着说:“你呢,更厉害,不管天,不管地,专管他的生殖器。”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    〔外一篇〕信誉

    开放搞活以后,黄教授上“社经”课中商品经济一节时,告诫同学们道:“想成为一
    个优秀的商人,必须要有很高的信誉,女同志要有信誉,男同志更要有信誉,不妨让
    我们看一看在座诸位,谁的信誉最高,谁的信誉最好,谁的信誉最持久,谁到我这把
    年纪,还能信誉不减当年。”学生提问:黄教授,现在讲“有中国特色的社经”。现
    在一“开搞”。不光是男女之间讲信誉,男的对男的讲信誉,女的对女的讲信誉,这
    新概念咱学不学?

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    〔黄教授代课逸事〕

    一日黄教授代教数学课,课上出了一题,过一会,他说:“男生求出来了吗,女生解
    完了吗,那么男女生对一下吧。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    〔外二篇〕出国见闻

    一次在出国见闻报告会上,黄教授对学生说到:“我这次去美国,发现许多中国留学
    生不好好用功读书,却去跟美国人信教,说是能得到灵魂上的满足,难道只有信教才
    能填补他们精神上的空虚?真想要信教也可以在国内和中国人信教吗。虽然政府不鼓
    励,但也是承认信教自由的,只要是公开和正当的信教活动,我们都不反对。现在许
    多地方都有公开的信教场所,有些地方还举行了各种集体信教活动,……”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    〔外二篇〕洋为中用

    在一个政治思想报告会上,黄教授对学生说:“现在许多年轻学生想要出国,没有一
    点儿爱国之心,还说什么‘洋为中用’,我就不相信这一点。中国人向来在外国人面
    前抬不起头。人都直不起来,还怎么‘中用’?”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    黄教授因内分泌失调不长胡子,于是做手术将老婆阴毛移植上。一天黄教授碰到做手
    术医生。医生问??术后效果怎样.不错,只是每到月底我鼻子就流血.。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    论文评语

    副校长的女儿是黄教授的硕士生,论文多次通不过,大家都着急,不少人来说情。论
    文指导小组其他教授被说软了,阅读重新改写的论文后,纷纷签名通过。到组长黄教
    授这一关,大家都很紧张,知道他刚正不阿。黄教授阅后,郑重写出如下评语:“上
    半部丰满,下半部水分太多。日後再说!”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    参观画室

    黄教授的老友刘芒是美术学院的教授。一天刘教授请老黄参观他的画室,在一尊大卫
    石膏塑像前,刘教授忽然面露怒色,把清洁工焦小姐叫来,指着那个部位问道:“怎
    么回事?”焦小姐忙说:“昨晚扫地时不小心碰断了,我把它重新接了一下。”刘教
    授训斥道:“接也没这样接的,本来是朝下的,怎么朝上了?”焦小姐红着脸说:
    “我见过的男人都是这样的呀。”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    老山前线

    对越自卫反击战时,黄教授曾作为慰问团成员去前线慰问过战士。回来后又被邀请参
    加了巡回报告团,向全国人民汇报在前线的见闻。下面是他报告中的一段:“...
    这时,一位班长爬了过来:‘报告连长,敌人一队女兵逼上来啦。’连长老练地说:
    ‘让战士们出击吧!’过了一袋烟的工夫,班长兴冲冲地来汇报:‘报告连长,我们
    把敌人全歼了!’...”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    田间赋诗

    有一次春游,黄教授他们偶过田间,正在对诗时,见一女子在田里摘菜,老曹灵机一
    动来了一句:“大姐拾芹怀抱苋”,老曹是湖北人,把苋发音成“汉”音。大夥儿都
    逼老黄对下一句。正为难时,一少女从远处走来,好像在招呼那女子回家吃饭,因阳
    光太强,所以用手遮在额头。黄教授见景,立即对出下句:“小妹怕日手遮荫”。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    生日晚餐

    一天,老刘约老黄喝一盅,见老黄脸色难看,就问原委。老黄叹了口气:“昨我过生
    日,我的学生岳晶黛请我去她家吃晚餐。”“人家一个窈窕黄花大闺女,给你一得天
    独厚的机会,好事呀!”“嗨,我一到,见室内布置得高雅温馨,柔和的灯光,真是
    心旷神怡!”“这越说越好啦。”“她直奔卧室,并让我过五分钟也进去。”“嘿,?
    邢妨恕!薄拔宸种雍螅乙煌瓶允颐牛锩婧诤艉艄刈诺啤!薄罢獠幻靼谧鸥酶墒
    裁戳寺穑 薄芭荆屏亮恕:眉一铮晃葑尤耍俏医坦难际抢锤易J
    俚摹!薄霸词钦饷椿厥拢檬旅怀伞D且裁槐匾テ穑ス找部难健!薄
    班耍鹛崃耍沂敲淮┛阕咏サ摹!?

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    弄巧成拙

    叶晶小姐考黄教授的研究生,多次笔试口试都没通过,于是请他到家里吃饭,想开后
    门打动他。叶晶接人待物笨拙,每次酸溜溜的来信总用拼音签名,名姓倒放,念来总
    觉像‘精液’。老黄一到,叶晶单刀直入:“我哪儿不如您的女学生?”老黄道:
    “就说殷茅嫦吧。那天我带个姓张的朋友去她家做客,你听那对话:‘先生贵姓?’
    ‘姓张。’‘弓长张还是立早章?’‘弓长张。’‘用过膳没有?’‘没有。’‘那
    正好和黄教授一起用。’恰到好处!”叶晶暗记心中。正巧杨委有急事找老黄,叶晶
    为显示一把社交能力,迎上去活学活用:“先生贵姓?”“姓杨。”叶晶一紧张只隐
    约记得个“公”字:“公杨还是母杨?”杨委不知如何回答,又不能说是母羊,只好
    答:“公羊。”叶晶忘了下面的词,转身进厨房杀鸡。刚进去,猛然想起“骟”字,
    连菜刀也没放下冲出来问:“骟过没有?”杨委心想,我还没结婚怎能计划生育,但
    见她举着刀,寒气袭人,只好道:“还没骟过。”“那正好和黄教授一起骟了吧!”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    素谜荤猜

    读了黄教授的素谜荤猜

    ,有人怀疑他太素,玩儿不转荤的,就用网上的素谜荤猜考他:
    (1)宋美龄斜卧白玉床(打《三国》二人名)
    (2)新婚之夜阳萎(打《水浒》三人名)
    (3)远看森林一片,近看红门两扇;滋溜钻进个小偷,外面留俩坏蛋(打一日常活动)
    (4)长腿男人(打一食物)
    (5)长腿女人(打一化妆品)
    (6)妓女罢工(打一历史用语)
    (7)嫖客罢嫖(打一历史用语)
    (8)面首暴乱(打一历史事件)
    (9)裤裆里拉胡琴(歇后语)
    老黄是何人?能难倒他?立即给了答案!

    (1)宋美龄斜卧白玉床(《三国》二人名)
    (2)新婚之夜阳萎(《水浒》三人名)
    (3)远看森林一片,近看红门两扇。滋溜钻进个小偷,外面留俩坏蛋。(日常活动)
    (4)长腿男人(食物)
    (5)长腿女人(化妆品)
    (6)妓女罢工(历史用语)
    (7)嫖客罢嫖(历史用语)
    (8)面首暴乱(历史事件)
    (9)裤裆里拉胡琴(歇后语)

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    野外烧烤

    暑假到了,社经室组织全体师生及过往毕业生共百十余人野餐会,主要是烧烤牛羊
    肉。第一个内容当然是黄教授的开场白。老黄先问清了‘烧烤’的英文是‘Bar-B-Q’
    后,凭着强健的外文记忆技巧记住了该词,然后语重心长地说:“这次‘把逼抠’抠
    得好,多热闹呀。想当年建室初期,老师学生加起来也就十几个人来七、八条枪啊
    !”助教刘碧血提问:“当时师生总数为十二人,谁都知道男同志有八位,您为啥含
    含糊糊地说只有七、八条枪呢?”老黄说:“八位之中不是有位杨委嘛,他不能算为
    一整条。”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    尴尬经历

    谈起尴尬经历,老黄说:“有天走错门,进了刘秘书办公室,我忙说‘对不起,让你
    受惊啦。’她却悄声说‘别担心,我做绝育了。’”老曹接着说:“我在海南候鸡室
    里找了一位,没问价就匆匆上阵了。等插进去了她才开价‘进一下50,出一下50,射
    500。’听完我就不动了,她催问为何停下,我只好说‘只带了50,刚够进来的。’”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    文革轶事

    老黄讲文革轶事大家都爱听。有一段是这样的:
    新婚之夜,事后新郎发现新娘已不是处女,新娘只好如实坦白:“我和主席那样过
    。”正等着挨骂,不料新郎却心潮澎湃,激动地说:“啊!我到过伟大领袖去过的地
    方啦!”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    和尚典史

    黄教授上课,常用对仗的形式将枯燥的概念讲活。比如为了让学生们记住中国古代官
    名“典史”,黄教授讲了一个故事:从前有两个朋友,一个和尚、一个典史,有一
    日,和尚想取笑一下典史,就出了一个上联:男人大便蹲下鸡巴点屎(典史),典史
    略一思索明白了和尚的用意,应对了一个下联:女人小便站起骚逼合上(和尚)。同
    学们都说教授的课生动形象,大家记得牢。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    河南方言

    有一次开联欢会,轮到讲方言这个节目,黄教授被逼无奈,来了一段豫剧念白:杨宗
    宝掏出那个雕,那个雕,那个雕翎箭,正中穆桂英那个鼻,那个鼻,那个鼻梁骨。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    赴日主裁

    在全日本男女社经对抗总决赛开幕式上,总裁判黄教授说:“我这次来日,专门为了
    社经。下面介绍一下双方参赛阵容,男方队员有龟头正雄先生和一夜五次郎先生,女
    方队员有梅川库子小姐和见君脱库子小姐。我还高兴的宣布,副总裁判为韩国社经巨
    子朴成性博士。”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    暑假到了黄夏留教授带着黄太太一起去深圳玩到了晚上对黄教授夫妇
    投宿旅馆时,黄太太想要洗个澡但却又担心的对老黄说:“看到报上的报导
    某些旅馆或饭店都会藏有隐藏式的录影机,万一我真的被拍到了,那该怎麽办呢?”
    黄教授一脸不屑头也不回的说:“放心吧!依你这种身材即使被不幸地
    拍到了他们也一定会全剪掉的!怕什么吗?”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    编辑与妓女

    一次,黄夏留教授被编辑部请去为报社的编辑和记者上关于“社经”
    的学术辅导课课间黄教授问了一个问题“请问编辑的工作性质是什么?”
    这个问题可难不倒这些老编们很快各种各样的答案就交上来了黄教授粗略地
    看了一下清了清嗓子说道“好好现在我来概括一下其答案可总结成下列
    六点
    1.长短不拘
    2.欢迎来稿
    3.稿费从优
    4.公开徵稿
    5.私下拉稿
    6.述不退稿

    答案讲完后又加了一句如果将稿改成搞那与妓女的工作性质没有什么两样吗ⅵ”

    众人大笑不止!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

                      抠阴唇

    黄夏留教授非常气愤的来找系主任--殷健常“太不像话了真是世风日下现
    在的年青人”“怎么拉?老黄什么事让你发这么大的火?”“今天坐公车谢
    晶(男)和岳晶黛(女)坐在我的前面,你听听他们的对话,不也气死才怪呢。”
    岳晶黛“你帮我好不好?”
    谢晶“啊.....?”
    岳晶黛“帮我抠阴唇啦”
    谢晶“这...在公车上耶?”
    岳晶黛“帮我抠嘛”
    谢晶“这样不好吧”
    岳晶黛“你到底抠不抠啦?”
    谢晶“真的要喔?”
    岳晶黛“快点啦帮我抠一下啦。”
    谢晶“好吧。”
    这时公车刚好到站我就气呼呼的下车到你这来了抠没抠我没看见殷健常主
    任一听果然也非常生气马上将岳晶黛和谢晶找到系办公室劈头劈脸地就喊
    “你们现在还了得在公车上就敢抠阴唇....我殷健常在家都不敢抠,”“殷主
    任因为你没有当然抠不了谁了”说着拿出手机连按几个数字接着对着
    话筒说“喂请问你是吴因纯吗?我们在公车上抠你你不在.......什么
    你不是吴因纯?请问除贵姓嘛?姓焦...”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    只能收你一包

    黄夏留教授是中国“社经”学的权威,德高望众,因此“社经”系的许多教职工
    子女或研究生结婚,总喜欢请他做主婚人。这天是系主任--殷健常的儿子殷无用给
    婚的大喜日子,黄夏留教授照例是充当主婚人,在王府井饭店举行完了婚礼后
    叁加婚礼的客人吃完喝足也都走的差不多了,这个时候新郎殷无用突然把主持婚礼
    的黄教授拉到一边,从怀里拿出一条“红塔山”塞到黄教授的手中。
    “黄教授,真谢谢你今天帮了我这麽大一个忙,这是我的一点意思,请收下”
    “你太客气了,我怎么能收这么重的礼”
    “不行不行,这个礼数一定不能省,你如果不收就太不给我面子了ⅵ”
    “喔...既然如此的话,偶尔我也会看新娘子来决定收几包。”
    此时黄夏留教授看了一看还在前面的新娘子一会儿,突然满脸愧疚的说:“不行
    不行,你等我一下,我只能收你一包.......”。说着哗的撕开了外包装,拿出
    一包,其余的还给了新郎。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    社经系决定搞一个系的网页,工作交给了新到的秘书小刘。
    这天小刘正在系办公室里报怨说在学校图书馆里找不到有关
    HTML的书,刚好让黄教授听到了。黄教授关心地对小刘
    说:“我家里到有几本不错的HTML的书。这样吧,下班
    后你到我家来拿好了。”小刘高兴地答应了。
    班后小刘到了黄教授家,一进门就看到教授家桌面上摆了
    几本册子。计有『素女经』,『新婚手册』和一本稍显残旧
    的笔记本。
    还没等小刘开口,黄教授就指着桌面说了:“这里有三本。
    一本是HTML的经典,一本是现在最流行的HTML的参
    考书,还有一本是我多年研究HTML的心得。HTML这
    门技术一开始是比较难掌握好的。特别是第一次。但过了第
    一次以后就好办了。关键是要找有经验的人带。自己一个人
    永远搞不好。”
    黄教授接着说:“我在HTML这方面还算有点研究。你可
    以参考一下我的笔记。如果你有问题就来找我,我们可以一
    起探讨。”
    小刘满脸疑惑地问:“这些都不是HTML的书啊?”
    黄教授正色地答:“怎么不是呢?这些都是教人
    HowToMakeLove的嘛!?

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    “郭春”的来历

    一天, 黄夏留教授与社经学院全体师生在大会堂里  听解放军长江抗洪救灾报告团
    的英雄事迹的报告..............
    这时轮到南京战区14集团军的一个名叫郭春的排长作报告, 当主持人讲到“郭春”
    时,台下是掌声雷动 
    只有黄夏留教授大笑不止。 散会后, 他的学生吴英纯问道:“ 教授,刚才听郭春排
    长报告时 
    你老为啥笑得这么开心,”“我是突然想到这个名字的来历, 所以大笑。” 说到
    这,又止不住笑了起来。
    在众学生的一致要求之下,黄夏留教授终于讲出了郭春这个名字来历的故事: 

    “从前,有一个叫郭春的人,但是从来没有过父亲。为什么没有父亲而又叫郭春呢 
    原来他妈妈并未正式结婚,但她却是一个非常风流的女人,她拥有三个情人!
    说话有这么一天,她与这三个男人发生了关系,无巧不巧的是,这一开搞,肚子里就
    结了果,最后生下了他。
    这三个男人一个姓高、一个姓李、还有一个姓陈,他妈妈也不知谁是他父亲,于是给
    他取名叫郭春,意为取
    高的头,李的脚,陈的一半,拼成‘郭’字为姓,‘春’者意为三人日也。 这就是郭
    春这个名字来历。”
    众大笑.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

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    Rubio, who had been out due to back spasms, finished with eight assists, four points and four steals in 19 minutes off the bench. He didn't attempt a field goal.

    Pekovic took advantage of space created inside when the Wolves finally proved they can shoot straight in the first half. The league's worst 3-point shooting team made five of eight attempts by halftime, and by then, Pekovic already had the double-double night that Love posts so regularly when he's healthy.

    All that after Pekovic left Saturday's game against the Portland Trail Blazers in the third quarter because of a strained hip. He never returned.

    "Pek's hip looked great tonight, " Cunningham said.

    On Wednesday in Oklahoma City, Rubio plans to play a second game in two days for the first time since he returned last month from March knee surgery.

    "Yeah, my instincts are there, " he said when asked about his four steals, "but the legs are not there yet. But I felt pretty good. I cannot complain. "

    The Wolves led by 14 points early in the fourth quarter before the Hawks got back in the game with a 15-5 run. They climbed within six points once and four points another time, but each time Kirilenko -- who is known for his steals, blocked shots, charges taken and assists -- answered with a rare 3-point shot that helped push the Wolves' lead back to as many as 11 points with four minutes left.

    Still, the Hawks didn't go quietly. They scored 12 of the next 14 points to get within 102-101 with 1: 07 left, but Pekovic answered with a jump hook on which Josh Smith was called for goaltending.

    When Al Horford scored to get the Hawks within a point again -- at 104-103 with 36 seconds left -- Cunningham answered with a clutch jump shot from the left wing with 15. 9 seconds left.

    A second later, Cunningham stole Josh Smith's pass after a timeout to ensure victory.

    "The steal's the best part, just to seal the game, just to know that's it, " Cunningham said. "The shot was great, actually it was the only shot tonight that felt good coming out of my hands, but defense is my staple. "

    NOTES: The Wolves ended an 11-game losing streak to the Hawks that dated to 2006.... Love will return Wednesday to the New york city hand specialist who saw him in October. He will learn whether he'll need surgery and just how long he is expected to be out this time.... Adelman missed Monday's practice and Tuesday's game because of what was believed to be an illness in his family. He did not accompany the Wolves to Oklahoma City after Tuesday's game but still could join them there Wednesday.... Kirilenko recorded his 2, 000th career assist two minutes into the game. He remains one steal shy of 1, 000 career steals.... Former Wolves forward Anthony Tolliver received a warm reception when he entered the game in the third quarter. He played two seasons in Minnesota before signing with Atlanta last fall. Tolliver didn't score while playing five minutes Tuesday.

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    Introduction to political geography, to study the distribution of world politics thing as Contact and differences, as well as political region to form a relationship with the geographical environment, and to predict its development and changes in the law. Research mainly includes the formation and evolution of political boundaries, political area; the divided political region type discussed their similarities and differences; explore, Group formation, development and change in international politics, and trends in contemporary world politics. The research field of political geography research to the territory of the country, and other political phenomena, the pattern of international political relations, its development and changes, and provide the basis for the country's political decision-making, international affairs. Political geography studies include: the territorial characteristics of size, shape, function, location, natural environment of the area, the boundaries of the advance and retreat of changes, as well as the nature of society, the political system, the administrative division, population and ethnic composition, resource development, industrial structure and its geographic distribution, the standard of living of the citizens; establish its role in the capital cities and regional centers; geographical background of international political relations, according to the territory (including the territorial waters, airspace) sovereignty and borders by theoretical studies as well as the borders changes in research of historical facts, to determine the position and basis of the dispute about the border issue between the country with its neighbors, as well as other countries to explore the contradictions and collaboration between countries, including military conflict and diplomatic struggle, international migration, trade relations developments and changes in the analysis of the composition and evolution of the comparison of the various countries of the world, the Group, as well as on the high seas. Many disciplines involved in political geography, in addition to relying on regional geography research, but also with the history, political science, political economy, economics, international relations, science and other disciplines, and with Anthropogeography the other branch disciplines closely related. The course of development of the ancient Greek philosophers to explore the relationship between the State and its geographical area. In his book "", the proposed mode of the ideal state. Later, the Roman scholar Strabo in his book "also discusses the necessary conditions for the effective functioning of the large political region. All major ancient works of regional geography, political geography is an important part, focused on describing the national territory, borders, capital, administrative divisions, population, ethnic, urban, transport as well as with neighboring countries, friend and foe relationship on political change phenomenon and its development process. For example, China Eastern Han historian Ban Gu relegated "Han? Geography", and later dynasties in the history books and the Chronicles, has this describes. Scholars of late Ming and early Qing dynasties Gu Yanwu, Guzu Yu were written to "" and "", discusses the history of the ancient use of regional geographic characteristics of operating the border, to defend its territory. To the modern, Western many based on a large number of historical data and the political situation at the time, the theoretical exploration. Pull zell "first political geography as a branch of the geography. He also proposed the the national organism doctrine, as well as the political geography of space and location analysis factors. Sherron, Sweden, the further development of the National Organic and the geopolitics name. To Houmaijinde Speakman proposed Bauman proposed "national self-determination theory. The political geography exposition decision-making in the different periods of international discussion and international situation, played a very important role. 20th century, 20 to 40 years, and so Germany's the "geopolitics become the tool of the Nazi German aggression and expansion, resulting in political geography reputation once deeply. Real science for the revival of political geography, some political geographers during World War II, began to explore new research methods. In 1950, Hart should be studied to propose political geography of regional similarities and differences in the political area, emphasizing the role of the combination of centripetal force and centrifugal force on the political unit. In the future, the work Gottfried Mans proposed circulation or movement of the destabilization of States and to promote stability in the country's national consciousness, the political geography of the two important factors. Since the 1970s, research focused on the aspects of the political process and political behavior, and more concerned about the smaller political region, such as urban and political geography, quarantine, election geographic. The study main schools of any one discipline has its particular object of study, the most basic areas, and these areas constitute disciplinary system, in order to be distinguished from other disciplines. Political geography as a science, should be no exception. However, an overview of the political geography in the development of the West, as well as various schools around the study of political geography, the study of political geography, has not so far been the formation of a universally accepted definition. This can arise from geography history follows several major schools view seen in: organic organization representative of the school figures, Germany pull zell (F.Ratzel), and Germany's House ho Eph (K.Haushofer) the Qilun (Kjellen) advocates, the political geography of the state organism's space research. House ho Eph knowledge of the "political geography department of political space structure of the organism." Representative of the benefits of the political landscape school Telai Xi (D.Whittlesey), (R.Hartshorne) advocates, political geography school is a major political landscape study, such as the Hui Te Laixi Earth and countries, "the differences of political phenomena in different places of the Earth's surface is the nature of political geography." representative of the school of political ecology Bowman (I.Bowman), the scope of the root Fort (V.Valkenbury) argued that the political geography of human social groups from the political geography of the natural environment to adapt to the area in which they live. The unified field school representative of the United States (SBJones) advocates, political geography should study how political ideas into the political area, and how political ideas within a specific area of ​​political formation. Seems in Jones, political ideas and political regions at both ends of a chain, this chain is this: political concepts - decision-making - Sports - area - political region. Here, "political ideas in the chain, not only refers to the notion of a state, but rather refers to any political ideas." Political region geospatial activities of any political organization, "Whether it is a nation-state, a separate area, under a district in the country, or a political subdivision or a region." As can be seen from the point of view of more than a few genres on the study of political geography http://www.emporioarshop.com/emporio-armani-ar4226-mens-meccanico-analogue-black-dial-watch-p-3633.html Emporio Armani AR4226 - Mens Meccanico Analogue Black Dial Watch, political ecology school, school of organic tissue, the political landscape school emphasized political geography is the study of the spatial structure of the country and outside activities, The state is the object of study. With the Dutch geographer root Fort words for: "political geography is the national geography, and geographic explanation for the international relations. The unified field school is tangible political region of the state extended to the area represented by such terminology such as the Atlantic Alliance, the international system of communism, Commonwealth political region. In this way, will expand the scope of the study of political geography. In our opinion, despite the claims of different schools in the study of political geography is different, but the study of the political area has been the subject of political geography. Political geography, on the one hand, from space to study the phenomenon of human society, politics and the political process and development and the results to study the general rules and characteristics of the phenomenon of human society, politics and the political process in the geospatial distribution; the other hand, geospatial study of human social and political phenomena and political process of change. Such research must focus on research in the political area. Because human beings engaged in political activities are carried out in a specific geographic area, geographical area compared to the political activities of the human place. So, the political activities of the human is bound to form a variety of political regions. Political regions called political area, any areas divided according to political criteria on the Earth's surface, including both a country or countries under Administrative Region, including the number of countries to form area. Political regions as a basic category consists of three elements: (1) political organization; ② The certain amount of the population; (3) geographic area. Any political area are the organic unity of these three elements. With the development of the history, the specific connotation of these three elements are subject to change, these three elements as part of the political area will not change, one factor is missing, it can not become a political area. In modern times, these three elements has its specific contents. We are talking about a political organization, refers both to the individual sovereign countries, including the place of national political organizations, such as local governments, international organizations and local groups, including several countries unite. With the advancement of science and technology, and human development of space, contemporary area except geographically on the earth's surface, and segmentation of different geographical boundaries, and also refers to a geographical space and the atmosphere above. In addition to these tangible regional political regions in the area including the area of ​​the invisible regions, such as the balance of power, the Group expressions. Except that refers to the number of population, density, and its liquidity, the population also refers to race, ethnicity, and people's political behavior. Visible, the political area historical times, the political geography provides a wealth of research content. The three basic elements are inseparable from the three basic elements of any political region. A political organization, such as the economic area, social and cultural areas, natural areas is a major hallmark of distinction, is the first condition of the political area. In a narrow sense, the political system is usually legal institutions, including the "government", "country"; Broadly speaking, including actual and statutory forms of political behavior, including not only the legal organization of the country, also including the reality of political life , such as regional groups, pressure groups and political forces. A certain number of people, this is a common feature of the political area and other human characteristics as the standard by region. No one, no human understanding of nature and transform natural practice activities, nature, it is impossible to leave human practice imprint, various regional presence will be impossible. It is the political activities of human beings before the formation of the political area, leave people, all out of the question. GA Almond, the contemporary famous American political scientist, said: "The political system is the role of the interaction with legislators, executive officials and judges by nationals or voters. Everyone to participate in political communication, organizational and political interest groups, to participate in vote or pay taxes, he converted to a political role from a non-political role, therefore, we might say, everyone is access to the political system. "Of course, the population is more than can be less if the city up to several millions of people, and some villages only a few dozen people. Geographic area, this is a necessary condition for the political area, is also a common feature of all regions, which is a manifestation of human space activities. The manifestations of the geographic area is varied, on the sovereignty of the country, the geographical area is the territory of the country; international organizations, the geographical area is the space these organizations, these areas are tangible , there are clear boundaries. Invisible geographic area, this area is difficult to elegant its boundaries, such as the distribution of voter attitudes in election activities, the balance of power in international politics. Political regions of these three elements are not independent of each other, but rather the interaction. Political system and human relations, the political system is not inherent in the human society, but with the class generation emerged, as Marx and Engels said, with residents first divided into two major class "and" the emergence of the city, will need administrative authorities, police, taxes, etc., in a word, is the need for a common political institutions, and that is the need for political "political system to a certain stage of development of human society of the product. Terms of political systems and geographic regions, the political system can not be separated from the geographic area, geographic region for the political system to provide "political resources" specific performance in any political system inevitably influenced by the domestic and international environment, such as the domestic economy between the natural environment and resources, education and technology system, racial and cultural systems as well as international trade, diplomacy, war, transportation, and cultural exchanges, all influence the political system functions. Political area is the organic unity of the three elements http://www.emporioarshop.com/emporio-armani-ar0298-stainless-steel-white-dial-mens-watch-p-3549.html Emporio Armani AR0298 - Stainless Steel White Dial Mens Watch. The nature of political geography as a science, its nature is determined by the nature of its object of study. To sum up, the nature of the political geography mainly in the following three aspects: the historic and many other disciplines, political geography, an important property is its historic times, age or historical by its determined by the characteristics of the research object itself. Political region itself was historic, because its elements is constantly updated with the progress of history and its contents, and to change its form. Political system, as the elements of the political area, its content and form constantly changing. Before World War II, the country is a major form of political organization, the postwar international organizations and regional groups to change the existing form of the old political system, enrich the content of the political system. Population as an element of the political area, but also in the ever-changing, such as the large number of immigrants, refugees, and urbanization are rich population. Only in terms of quantity, different regions, different countries, its population growth rate is also different. The three types of population growth: zero growth in Western Europe http://www.emporioarshop.com/ar2445-emporio-armani-classic-black-date-womens-watch-p-3379.html AR2445 Emporio Armani Classic Black Date Women's Watch, the high-speed growth in developing countries as well as developed countries, low-speed growth in the current world. The geographic region in the form of even more changes constantly, such as tangible District, intangible areas. This tells us that any political region is not set in stone. With the development of the historical, social changes, the form and content of the political regions are also constantly change. World Administrative Region Figure compared Figure the World Administrative Region in the 19th century and the World Administrative Region of 1960s, the number of national-scale political region increased significantly. Inside a country, its administrative divisions with different periods of political and economic construction needs changing, such as the early days, a significant adjustment to adapt to the needs of construction at the time, told the old Chinese administrative region in the province and the central between the establishment of the northeast, north, northwest, east, south central, southwest six Administrative Region, six Administrative Region were abolished in 1954, to restore the province as a local government, the creation of a national autonomous area. This historic political region does not mean that political geography is not a science, because, regardless of the composition of the three elements of the political area of ​​the form and content of how to change with the historical changes, these three elements as the political area The components itself does not change, which determines the stability of the theory of the discipline of political geography. So we can say that historic era of political region does not change the political geography as a scientific discipline. Rather, it is the historical times continue to enrich the content of the discipline of political geography. Political compared with other types of regional political area of ​​another significant feature is the class nature, also called political. It is in this sense that any political parties, social groups, social forces, international organizations have certain political tendencies in the domestic and international activities on behalf of a certain class, the political behavior of the public but also on behalf of certain political tendencies, Lenin believe that politics is class struggle. Political area such political as political organizations, in particular, like the generation of national institutions arising die, of course, with the elimination of the domination of the ruling class institutions, "when class distinctions have disappeared, and all production is concentrated in the unite the hands of the individual, the public power will lose the political nature of international organizations, many international organizations representing the interests of different classes, there is a significant difference in the ideology, these also make international political regions have different political. Such as previous socialist camp headed by the Soviet Union in Eastern Europe there are different political nature and dominated by the United States, Britain and other Western European capitalist camp. Therefore, in the analysis of the political area, in addition to pay attention to its historic outside, also must pay attention to its political nature. Comprehensive political region Another feature was integrated. Not purely political, politics always and interests of certain groups, in particular, and economic benefits associated with, in addition, political and military, ideological linked to politics is the concentrated expression of these factors. The area is not a pure space, but the distribution of natural resources, population space. The area of ​​so-called political means any political regions are the political, economic, military, ideological, resources, population and other complex. The requirements of the political area we study the political area, from various aspects must be taken into account, such as when the country as a political region to study, not only to study the spatial structure of the political parties, the government, and to study the country's economic, military, ideological impact on national politics, but also to study the political significance of the use and protection of resources and population distribution. The subdiscipline political geography involved many disciplines, in addition to relying on research, but also with the history, political science, political economy, economics, international relations, science and other disciplines, and with Anthropogeography the other branch disciplines closely related. The other geography subdiscipline geography overview of the physical geography, geomorphology, dynamical geomorphology, tectonic geomorphology, climate geomorphology, applied geomorphology, plant geography, animal geography, glaciology, permafrost science, Palaeogeography , hydrology, soil geography, chemistry geography physical geography, human geography, agricultural geography, industrial geography and commercial geography, transportation geography, tourism geography, race, geography, ,,,,, medical geography, political geography, military geography, cartography, toponymic theory geography, regional geography, geomorphology geography

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    He'd such as simply to alter previous outcomes towards Manning, who had been 2-0 within the postseason towards Baltimore whilst using the Colts.

    ''It's to the following 1, '' the actual 17-year experienced stated. ''We noticed all of them previously within the 12 months and today all of us have them again, however along with our weapons back again. ''

    Losing finished the actual Colts' turn-around period by which these people proceeded to go through 2-14 towards the playoffs within trainer Throw Pagano's very first 12 months within Indiana (11-6). Pagano skipped 12 days whilst going through remedy with regard to leukemia as well as came back a week ago.

    He or she had been positive following a beat towards the group he or she offered being an helper trainer with regard to 4 many years.

    ''The basis is placed, as well as all of us stated all of us had been likely to construct 1 upon rock and roll and never upon fine sand, '' Pagano stated. ''You climate thunder storms such as this and also you study from occasions such as this. ''

    Unpleasant planner Bruce Arians, that proceeded to go 9-3 because meanwhile trainer, had been lacking Weekend following becoming hospitalized by having an undisclosed sickness. Pagano stated Arians ''is fine'' as well as might remain immediately with regard to declaration prior to rejoining the actual Colts upon Mon.

    Quarterback trainer Clyde Christensen known as the actual performs, however Baltimore's all of a sudden energized protection -- influenced through Lewis' impending pension, without doubt -- in no way allow standout first year QB Good fortune obtain comfy.

    ''It's excellent producing the actual playoffs, however, you cannot help to make errors as well as be prepared to defeat the playoff group such as all of us do, '' stated Good fortune, who had been sacked 3 times, John Kruger obtaining two 1/2 of these. ''We'll need to appear back again from individuals as well as ideally repair all of them. ''

    Sunday's triumph improved the actual Ravens' achievement price within starting playoff video games. Flacco right now offers received a minumum of one postseason online game in most 5 associated with their professional months, the only real quarterback to complete this within the Extremely Dish period.

    Their primary focus on Weekend had been Boldin, that experienced receptions associated with 50 as well as fouthy-six back yards, in addition their 18-yard TD on the floater through Flacco within the part from the finish area along with 9: fourteen to visit.

    ''I informed (Flacco) prior to the online game We would obtain two hundred back yards, '' Boldin stated having a giggle.

    ''It's large for all of us. It is large with this town, they have backed all of us this particular whole 12 months plus they anticipate a great deal through all of us. In exchange, you want to provide this for them. ''

    Baltimore changed the very first 2 dropped fumbles from the period through Beam Grain, as well, because Steve Harbaugh grew to become the only real mind trainer within the Extremely Dish period along with is victorious within their very first 5 playoff strategies.

    Back-up halfback Bernard Pierce rescued Grain having a 43-yard burst open which resulted in Boldin's landing, as well as went with regard to 103 back yards.

    Flacco additionally associated with Dennis Pitta for any 20-yard TD as well as first year Justin Tucker created the 23-yard area objective.

    Indy's just factors arrived upon 3 area objectives through Adam Vinatieri, through forty seven, fifty two as well as twenty six back yards. Good fortune finished twenty-eight associated with fifty four goes by with regard to 288 back yards. It had been probably the most efforts with a first year inside a playoff online game.

    Reggie David experienced 114 back yards upon 9 receptions as well as relocated in to 2nd within profession playoff attracts along with 80 -- fifty nine at the rear of innovator Jerry Grain. However the Colts, that relocated through Baltimore in order to Indiana within 1984 -- these people nevertheless tend to be despised right here -- grew to become the 2nd NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE group to enhance in order to 11 is victorious carrying out a two-win period after which shed within the starting circular from the playoffs.

    The actual Ravens additionally defeat the actual 08 Dolphins inside a comparable situation.

    Each groups had been careless in early stages, along with Grain dropping the fumble, Lewis shedding the possible interception, as well as Good fortune becoming removed from the golf ball on the bag.

    However Grain atoned having a 47-yard obtain on the display move, resulting in Vonta Leach's 2-yard landing.

    Which Professional Dish backfield had been bolstered through the stop results associated with an additional Professional Dish participant, Jacoby Jones. He or she acquired sixty back yards upon kickoff runbacks as well as 57 upon punt results.

    Vinatieri, acquainted with large leg techinques within the playoffs following successful 2 Extremely Containers with regard to Brand new Britain along with area objectives, created the 47-yarder within the 2nd one fourth, the 52-yarder since the very first fifty percent run out, along with a 26-yarder close to the finish from the 3rd time period. However he or she additionally skipped the 40-yarder broad correct, their very first skip towards Baltimore following eighteen achievements.

    INFORMATION: Ravens POUND Dannell Ellerbe sprained a good ankle joint past due within the online game. The actual Ravens did not stipulate that ankle joint.... Harbaugh is actually 6-4 within playoff video games, because is actually Flacco.... Grain completed along with seventy back yards hurrying as well as Flacco put with regard to 282.... First year Vick Ballard hurried with regard to 91 back yards with regard to Indy.... Colts Capital t Winston Rights hurt their equip.

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  51. BlogIcon 匿名 2014/07/03 20:27 Address Modify/Delete Reply

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    Milk bottles in carnival games are meant to be knocked down.

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    Green Bay's offensive line has had its hands full this season as it has tried, often unsuccessfully, to keep Aaron Rodgers from looking like a tackling dummy, and it doesn't figure to get any easier in Saturday night's NFC divisional game in San Francisco.

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    Rodgers is the Packers' most precious commodity, the reigning league MVP and one of the finest quarterbacks of his generation. The Packers (12-5) will only go as far as he takes them, so keeping him upright is a priority. Yet Rodgers was sacked an NFL-high 51 times during the regular season.

    That's almost twice as many sacks as New England's Tom Brady took (27), and 30 more than Denver's Peyton Manning.

    But that number, ugly as it may be, doesn't quite tell the whole story.

    ''Is it something that they're proud of? No. Of course not, '' offensive line coach James Campen said. ''I'll just say this, those guys have made a lot of improvements and corrected the mistakes that got to those situations of giving up a sack or having a bad run. There's a lot of things that you could say, 'Well, there's 51 sacks. ' But does that mean they're a bad line? Absolutely not, because there's a lot of other things that can factor into that. ''

    Part of what makes Rodgers so special is his ability to turn a broken play into a big gain, getting outside the pocket and waiting until he finds an open man, throwing on the run.

    It's resulted in countless dazzling plays and left many a defensive player shaking his head in wonder as he trudges down the field for the next snap.

    But it also can leave Rodgers vulnerable. The more time he takes, the more chances a lineman or linebacker has to chase him down.

    ''Your mentality when you're blocking for him is make sure you stay engaged. You can't have a time clock in your head, thinking the ball might be gone, '' Lang said. ''You've got to stay locked up with those guys, match their effort. As long as they're moving, you're moving to try and stay in front of them. Whenever we do that, we give Aaron some time, he tends to make a lot of big plays. That's definitely something that we work on a lot and we try to make sure we're good at. ''

    But the bigger challenge in protecting Rodgers - this season, at least - has been consistency.

    Or a lack of it.

    With a new center in Jeff Saturday and Marshall Newhouse in his first season as the full-time starter at left tackle, the Packers were clearly out of sync early on. Rodgers was sacked 16 times in the first three games, and 21 times through the first five.

    No coincidence the Packers began the season 2-3.

    Just as the line found its rhythm, right tackle Bryan Bulaga was lost to a season-ending hip injury on Nov 4. Over the next six weeks, the Packers would use four different starting combinations on the offensive line, including rookie free agent Don Barclay at right guard.

    ''It's a hard thing to do, '' right guard Josh Sitton said. ''I had to do it as a rookie, be the sixth man on the O-line, and having to come in and not knowing you're going to be in, not knowing when you're going to play and then finally getting your chance, it's a tough thing to do. ''

    And yet, the Packers have found stability among the chaos.

    Evan Dietrich-Smith, whom Rodgers has been touting as the Packers' future center, replaced Saturday in the starting lineup Dec. 23, and it looks as if he's been playing the position for years. He's a little faster and a lot more physical, and having that anchor up front sets the tone for the rest of the line.

    Barclay has had some growing pains - he struggled in the regular-season finale in Minnesota - but has grown with each week, and he's drawn rave reviews from everyone from Rodgers to coach Mike McCarthy.

    ''He's given us some stability there, '' Rodgers said. ''We still want him to get off to a good start every week, but you worry less and less about Don every week, and that's a tribute to how he's played and how he's prepared. ''

    The line's improvement is evident in the entire offense. Yes, Rodgers was sacked five times in that regular-season finale. But even with that, he was taken down only 14 times over the last five weeks. He was sacked three times in last weekend's wild-card win.

    The running game, which depends on a stout offensive line, has taken off, too.

    ''We've been playing some good football the last couple of weeks, '' Lang said. ''We continue to grow with the guys we've got in there now. We feel confident next to each other.

    ''We definitely know that this week's going to be a huge challenge for us, '' he added. ''But I think we're ready for that challenge and we're excited about it. ''.

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    Power of Pinpointing Accountability plus articles and information on Management

    I have always said that if I were to write a book on effective management principles, the first chapter in that book would be about the importance of pinpointing responsibility among an owner's or a general manager's reporting units. After all, one of the most popular definitions of management is getting work done through others.

    #1 Management Pitfall: An unwillingness to delegate.

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    While this may be true, when managers feel a strong need to be in total control by personally taking charge of the company's most critical tasks, they have made a very personally limiting decision. Why? Because any single person has just so many hours in a day. So managers who are poor at delegating are limited by their own personal mental and physical stamina.

    A manager friend of mine recently told me a great story that I believe illustrates this point extremely well. This particular owner had founded his business almost 40 years ago and had designed the company's first product catalog about 25 years ago. The catalog was highly successful, so he continued to hold on tightly to this task himself. No one else in the organization was as capable at selecting products for the catalog or laying out the product selection.

    As the business grew, however http://www.shopthesf49ersgear.com/womens-colin-kaepernick-super-bowl-jersey/ Super Bowl XLVII Colin Kaepernick jersey, the owner became busier and busier with involvement in other critical management functions: Banking relations, negotiating insurance programs, strategic planning, estate planning, acquiring new locations, etc. So the most current catalog was neglected and pretty soon began to look outdated.

    A key employee who had worked with the owner in implementing previous catalogues came to him and offered to assume responsibility for the project. However, the owner continued to sincerely believe that only he could do this job and do it "right." But nothing happened.

    Realizing that she was taking a risk, the subordinate took it upon herself to take a stab at laying out the catalog. Conscientiously working at home, she burned the midnight oil so the project didn't interfere with her normal duties at work. Finally the project was finished and she presented the rough layout to her boss.

    "Wow," he exclaimed. "What a great job!"

    The owner finally realized that while the catalog she had designed was not laid out as artfully as perhaps he could have done it himself, the project had gotten done.

    What duties and tasks are you holding onto because you perform them better than anyone else http://www.shopthesf49ersgear.com/ Kaepernick Jersey? Are you assigning responsibilities to your people and holding them accountable for measurable results?

    So ask yourself: Is the success of your business limited by your own personal physical and mental stamina? There's just so much that any one person -- no matter how talented -- can do and do well.

    #2 Management Mistake: Failure to hold your people accountable for measurable results.

    Have you ever told a manager that the next time you walk into the area of the business he or she is responsible for that you want that area to be neat and organized? Most owners and managers certainly have. Well, how about this question: Have you ever returned to inspect the manager's progress and been disappointed in what you observed?

    The reason many times is because the owner's or manager's idea of C-L-E-A-N is substantially different from that of the subornate.

    Try this: Prepare an inspection checklist. Describe clearly what your definition of clean is so that the person you're holding accountable will know in no uncertain terms what is expected of him or her.

    So often managers are guilty of saying to a subordinate manager: "I want you to reduce expenses out here." But they never suggest how much or expressing the request in measurable terms.

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    Management mistake #3: Failure to establish minimum conditions of employment.

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    What inventory turnover must the buyer achieve at a minimum?

    What collection days must the credit manager achieve at a minimum?

    How much net margin must the general manager achieve at a minimum?

    (Bill Lee is author of Gross Margin: 26 Factors Affecting Your Bottom Line. To order, see shopping cart at www.mygrossmargin.com. Or call 800-808-0534. US$29.95 plus $5 S&H)

    Bill Lee is a sought after business consultant and seminar leader. He is author of Gross Margin: 26 Factors Affecting Your Bottom Line and 30 Ways Managers Shoot Themselves in the Foot.

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    Learning the Piano and Playing the Piano plus articles and information on Music

    Many piano students spend much time learning how to play the piano. Years upon years of study time devoted to perfecting technique http://www.shopthesf49ersgear.com/ Kaepernick NFL Jersey, tone, dynamics, etc. All the while, many of these same students have never really played the piano. That is, they have spent their time practicing in preparation for the moment when they can "perform" for others.

    Wouldn't it be refreshing if instead of learning how to play other peoples music, we could feel confident enough to create our own? Why is it so daunting a task for most of us? I think it's because we've been taught that only a very few gifted individuals are capable of producing music from scratch - whatever the genre. Rock, jazz, classical etc. Unfortunately, this belief is enough to stop most dead in their tracks and for those, whose spark of interest was lit in childhood, it soon turns cold and lifeless.

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    The solution is to understand that we all have our own special music inside of us and each and every one of us has something wonderful to share with the world. This something comes through when we stop learning how to play the piano and begin to play it truly for the first time.

    Edward Weiss is a pianist/composer and webmaster of Quiescence Music's online piano lessons. He has been helping students learn how to play piano in the New Age style for over 14 years and works with students in private, in groups, and now over the internet. Stop by now at http://www.quiescencemusic.com/piano_lessons.html for a FREE piano lesson!

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    The Baltimore Ravens wanted one long final ride for Ray Lewis.

    They also wanted Denver. They got it.

    Having disposed of Andrew Luck and the Indianapolis Colts, they now face a far more imposing challenge - Peyton Manning and the streaking Broncos.

    Anquan Boldin set a franchise record with 145 yards receiving, including the clinching touchdown in the Ravens' 24-9 victory Sunday over the Colts in an AFC wild-card game. The win delays star linebacker Lewis' retirement for at least another week as Baltimore (11-6) heads to top-seeded Denver (13-3) next Saturday.

    The Broncos beat the Ravens 34-17 three weeks ago.

    ''I wanted Denver, '' Boldin said, ''because they beat us.

    ''We'll make it different. ''

    And he wanted the Broncos because it prolongs the Ravens' pursuit of their first NFL title since the 2000 season, when Lewis won the first of two Defensive Player of the Year awards.

    ''I came to Baltimore to win a championship, '' Boldin added. ''We all did. ''

    Lewis, who made 13 tackles Sunday, ended his last home game in Baltimore at fullback, of all things, for the final kneel-down. He then went into a short version of his trademark dance before being mobbed by teammates.

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    ''My only focus was to come in and get my team a win. Nothing else was planned, '' the 37-year-old Lewis said. ''It's one of those things, when you recap it all and try to say what is one of your greatest moments.

    ''I knew how it started but I never knew how it would end here in Baltimore. To go the way it did today, I wouldn't change nothing. ''

    He would like nothing more than to change past results against Manning, who was 2-0 in the postseason against Baltimore while with the Colts.

    ''It's on to the next one, '' the 17-year veteran said. ''We saw them earlier in the year and now we get them back again, but with all of our guns back. ''

    The loss ended the Colts' turnaround season in which they went from 2-14 to the playoffs in coach Chuck Pagano's first year in Indianapolis (11-6). Pagano missed 12 weeks while undergoing treatment for leukemia and returned last week.

    He was upbeat following the defeat to the team he served as an assistant coach for four years.

    ''The foundation is set, and we said we were going to build one on rock and not on sand, '' Pagano said. ''You weather storms like this and you learn from times like this. ''

    Offensive coordinator Bruce Arians, who went 9-3 as interim coach, was absent Sunday after being hospitalized with an undisclosed illness. Pagano said Arians ''is fine'' and would stay overnight for observation before rejoining the Colts on Monday.

    Quarterback coach Clyde Christensen called the plays, but Baltimore's suddenly revitalized defense - inspired by Lewis' pending retirement, no doubt - never let standout rookie QB Luck get comfortable.

    ''It's great making the playoffs, but you can't make mistakes and expect to beat a playoff team like we did, '' said Luck, who was sacked three times, Paul Kruger getting 2 1/2 of those. ''We'll have to look back at those and hopefully fix them. ''

    Sunday's victory enhanced the Ravens' success rate in opening playoff games. Flacco now has won at least one postseason game in all five of his pro seasons, the only quarterback to do it in the Super Bowl era.

    His main target Sunday was Boldin, who had receptions of 50 and 46 yards, plus his 18-yard TD on a floater from Flacco in the corner of the end zone with 9: 14 to go.

    ''I told (Flacco) before the game I was going to get 200 yards, '' Boldin said with a chuckle.

    ''It's huge for us. It's huge for this city, they've supported us this entire year and they expect a lot from us. In return, we want to give it to them. ''

    Baltimore overcame the first two lost fumbles of the season by Ray Rice, too, as John Harbaugh became the only head coach in the Super Bowl era with wins in his first five playoff campaigns.

    Backup halfback Bernard Pierce rescued Rice with a 43-yard burst that led to Boldin's touchdown, and ran for 103 yards.

    Flacco also connected with Dennis Pitta for a 20-yard TD and rookie Justin Tucker made a 23-yard field goal.

    Indy's only points came on three field goals by Adam Vinatieri, from 47, 52 and 26 yards. Luck completed 28 of 54 passes for 288 yards. It was the most attempts by a rookie in a playoff game.

    Reggie Wayne had 114 yards on nine receptions and moved into second in career playoff catches with 92 - 59 behind leader Jerry Rice. But the Colts, who moved from Baltimore to Indianapolis in 1984 - they still are despised here - became the second NFL team to improve to 11 wins following a two-win season and then lose in the opening round of the playoffs.

    The Ravens also beat the 2008 Dolphins in a similar scenario.

    Both teams were sloppy early on, with Rice losing a fumble, Lewis dropping a potential interception, and Luck being stripped of the ball on a sack.

    But Rice atoned with a 47-yard gain on a screen pass, leading to Vonta Leach's 2-yard touchdown.

    That Pro Bowl backfield was bolstered by the kick returns of another Pro Bowl player, Jacoby Jones. He gained 60 yards on kickoff runbacks and 57 on punt returns.

    Vinatieri, familiar with big kicks in the playoffs after winning two Super Bowls for New England with field goals, made a 47-yarder in the second quarter, a 52-yarder as the first half expired, and a 26-yarder near the end of the third period. But he also missed a 40-yarder wide right, his first miss against Baltimore after 18 successes.

    NOTES: Ravens LB Dannell Ellerbe sprained an ankle late in the game. The Ravens didn't specify which ankle.... Harbaugh is 6-4 in playoff games, as is Flacco.... Rice finished with 70 yards rushing and Flacco threw for 282.... Rookie Vick Ballard rushed for 91 yards for Indy.... Colts T Winston Justice injured his arm.

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    The actual Atl Hawks all of a sudden end up hooked within their greatest dropping ability from the period.

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    Wanting to get back again on the right track, the actual going to Hawks attempt for any 9th earn within 10 video games from the injury-plagued Cavaliers upon Thursday evening.

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    "It's unsatisfactory, inch Irving stated. "We skip their work. As well as pretty much their cleverness like a golf ball participant. Whenever he is not really available, all of us shed some management, however most of all, all of us shed work. All of us obtained fourteen as well as fourteen through him or her each and every evening. All of us skip which at this time. inch

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    "Just do not get the actual halts that people require, and that is essentially exactly what this comes right down to, inch stated Irving, averaging twenty-eight. 5 factors within their final 2 conferences along with Atl.

    "We simply gotta cope with this as well as remain psychologically difficult.... We are simply going to still improve -- we are a group certainly, however simply gotta discover each day. inch

    Along with Varejao, the actual Cavaliers might be without having D. T. Kilometers as well as Daniel Gibson. Kilometers is actually averaging seventeen. four factors more than their final 5 video games however might be kept away following departing within the 3rd one fourth Mon because of back again jerks. Gibson, at the same time, may be sidelined because struggling the concussion towards Atl final 30 days.

    Lomaz Walton can also be unclear to become obtainable because of individual factors.

  22. Favicon of http://www.csnspurs.com/ BlogIcon Tony Parker road Jersey 2013/03/18 12:18 Address Modify/Delete Reply

    While Metta World Peace tried to do his part, the Los angeles Lakers couldn't overcome the loss of three frontcourt players, including a pair of All-Stars, during their opener to a brief road trip through Texas.

    The Lakers will attempt to end that two-game trek on a more positive note Wednesday night but have the daunting task of trying to snap the San Antonio Spurs' 10-game home win streak.

    Dwight Howard (shoulder), Pau Gasol (concussion) and reserve Jordan Hill (hip) are out indefinitely for Los angeles (15-19), and Gasol is expected to be re-evaluated Thursday. Even without those players, the Lakers were competitive for much of their visit to Houston on Tuesday, leading by 14 points in the first quarter, but ultimately couldn't keep up with one of the league's top scoring teams, falling 125-112 for a fourth straight defeat.

    World Peace had a season-high 24 points but Kobe Bryant failed to top 25 for the first time in 18 games, finishing with 20 on 8-of-22 shooting.

    "I thought we had the better team, " World Peace said. "We definitely had the better team, but every night we have the better team and it's just not translating to wins.

    "We've just got to move forward. We don't have time to feel bad for anyone. "

    The Lakers' chances to end their brief trip with a win don't appear promising against the Southwest Division-leading Spurs (27-10). San Antonio, though, has lost two of three after winning a season-high seven in a row and fell 95-88 in a visit to the Western Conference's last-place team, New Orleans, http://www.nbabgstore.com/ Spurs Gary Neal Men's Jersey, on Monday.

    The Spurs were hindered by 19 turnovers, which led to 23 points for the Hornets, and a 5-of-14 shooting performance from Tim Duncan. He had 13 points while Tony Parker was the only starter to outscore him with 16. Manu Ginobili had a team-best 21 points off the bench.

    "We played a well-coached, aggressive, well-executing team, " coach Gregg Popovich said. "They did a great job at both ends of the court. They just whipped us. "

    The Spurs, though, will try to get back in the win column and extend their longest home streak since a franchise-record, 22-game run Dec. 3, 2010-March 4, 2011. San Antonio has won three in a row over Los angeles, including an 84-82 road victory Nov. 13.

    Danny Green hit the go-ahead 3-pointer with 9. 3 seconds left in that game, but the Spurs won more comfortably during the most recent matchup in San Antonio on April 20. Duncan had 21 points, and Parker and Ginobili scored 20 apiece in a 121-97 victory.

    "(Playing the Lakers) is always a good test, " Ginobili said. "They've got heart. They play hard. We now need that win. We want to keep that (home) win streak going, but we have to play better. "

    The Lakers have won in two of its past three visits to San Antonio and World Peace had a team-best 26 points on 10-of-15 shooting in the latest of those victories, 98-84 on April 11.

    Bryant was held out of that game because of an injured left shin. He had 28 points on 12-of-19 shooting in the loss to San Antonio in November. The Spurs shot just 38. 9 percent in that game and had three players in double figures, led by Parker with 19 points and Duncan with 18.

    The Lakers haven't lost five in a row since April 3-10, 2011.

  23. Favicon of http://www.nbabigstore.com/ BlogIcon Omer Asik Swingman Jersey 2013/03/19 01:06 Address Modify/Delete Reply

    成绩

    期中考之後,数学老师要发表成绩,他说:
    "九十分以上和八十分以上的人数一样多;八十分以上和七十分以上的人数也一样多"
    话一说玩,全班一阵欢呼,一位同学追问道:"那麽....不及格的人数呢???"
    老师不疾不徐的回答:不及格的人数和全班的人数一样多"

     

    贩卖机趣闻

    期末考到了,晚上总是熬夜比较晚睡,肚子饿了,当然吃泡面最方便了....
    宿舍有台泡面贩卖机,正考虑说"肉羹面"和"麻油鸡面"那个比较好吃,
    想想,乾脆两个一起按,看掉下那一个好了!!!结果,拿出的是-------
    ---------"黑胡椒牛肉面"

     

    好笑的英文笑话!!
    : 调查员:What is your father's name?
    : 小 弟:Happy!!
    : 调查员:What is your mother's name?
    : 小 弟:Smile!
    : 调查员:Are you joking?
    : 小 弟:No!!That's my sister!! I am Kidding!!
    : byebye

     

    英文课.....

    : 这是学弟跟我说的......
    : 有一天他们在上英文课....
    : 老师就叫同学举出常用的英文单字...
    : 一号同学就说:ok...
    : 二号同学就说:thank you .....
    : 後来叫到一个同学......
    : 他站起来就很不爽的说了一句:shirt....
    是shit啦!shirt是衬衫....

    含笑九泉

    有一次,上国文课时,老师为了了解这位侨生的中文程度,
    就随囗问问他一些相关的成语。
    『你可不可以说出一句成语,来形容一个人很开心的样子?』
    国文老师出了一道问题目,又说:『不过,这个成语中最好能有个数目字,
    比如一、二、三、四......』
    这位侨生想了一想,很高兴的说:
    我知道了,『含笑九泉』!
    哈!好一个『含笑九泉』!全班同学莫不捧腹大笑,年纪老迈的国文老师,
    也差点没昏倒过去。

    起立

    某班长上课睡觉,叫同学下课叫他,同学恶作剧,
    A:起来,下课了!
    班长揉揉眼睛:起立!
    此时只见十几位同学睡眼惺忪的站起来说:谢谢老师!

     

    学英语

    一次为一个初中小孩搞家教,在其英语课本上发现如下恐怖字眼:
    爸死(bus )
    爷死(yes )
    哥死(girls)
    妹死(Mis?)
    ... ...
    死光(school)

    地理考试

    地理考试时, 老师要学生简略描述下列各地:
    阿拉伯、新加坡、好望角、罗马、名古屋、澳门。
    其中小明这样写:从前有个老公公, 大家叫他阿拉伯,
    有一天他出去爬山, 当他爬到新加坡的时候
    突然看见一只头上长著好望角的罗马直冲过来,
    吓的他拔腿跑进名古屋, 赶紧关上澳门, http://www.snspurs.com/ Tim Duncan home Jersey。

    大学伙食
    一新生买了一个烤饼, 正走在路上, 突然迎面开来一辆大车, 惊慌中烤饼失手滚落于
    车轮
    之下, 待车过去, 正自懊悔的新生惊奇地发现烤饼完好无损地嵌在地里! 为不浪费,
    他决
    定将烤饼拣起来, 可无论手抠勺撬均未成功, 正为难时, 恰逢一好心老生经过, 了解
    情况
    后老生二话没说, 立刻从书包中掏出一根油条, 只见"叭"地一下, 烤饼应手而出!

    委婉

    教授在上伦理课.他告诉同学们如何提醒别人一些尴尬事情.
    "比如说,如果你们看见女孩子屁股上有草屑,你们应该委婉地
    说:'姑娘,你的肩上有草屑'.女孩子往肩部看,然后向下---看 见了".
    这时一个女学生举手站了起来,说:"教授,你领带的拉链开了!"

    女生

    一日晚 ,余漫步三教平台 ,但见一女翩然而来,长发飘飘 ,不禁为之侧目 。
    须臾走近 ,此女猛然
    停住 ,注视与我 。余暗道 ,“吾岂非很帅”! 但见伊睁大双眼 ,嘴角抽动 ,吾
    叹到 “吾莫非太丑”?
    却见伊双目愈瞪愈大 ,嘴亦越张越开 。吾大恐 ,暗道吾平日乃真君子 ,不曾冒犯
    于她 ,何况不曾
    相识 ?吾几欲转身远遁 ,忽听伊大喊一声 “。。。。。。啊 。。嚏 !!!”。伊
    揉揉鼻子 ,飘然远去 。
    吾已大汗淋漓矣 。

     

    蚊香

    上高中时睡通铺,没法挂蚊帐。一同学买了盘蚊香。大家问是啥牌子的,
    答曰“雄蚊乐”牌。大家不解其意。他解释说:只有雌蚊子才吸血,雄蚊子没吸
    管。这种蚊香不滥杀无辜,只对雌蚊有效。大家问“怎么叫雄蚊乐呢?”
    “雌蚊子都被熏得昏沉沉的,雄蚊不正好乘机......

    蟑螂的故事

    俺的一个同学姓张,某日他和心仪已久的一个女孩单独在一起,
    两人边吃小吃边聊天,突然,女孩叫了一句“张郎”,他几乎
    幸福得晕过去了。美梦醒来甚快,女孩说的是他手持的饼干上
    有半只蟑螂!

    两次

    刚入校时考学生守则,大家抄的天昏地暗,其中有两条:
    :大学期间累计作弊两次者劝其退学。
    :大学期间结婚者劝其退学。
    俺眼睛不好,发下卷子才发现抄成了:
    :大学期间累计结婚两次者劝其退学。

    非洲野猪

    生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相,
    偶尔眼光一扫台下,竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。于是大为
    光火,喝道:“你们要看着我啊!不看我,你们怎么知道
    非洲野猪长的是什么样子?”

    中学英语老师的笑话

    上高中的时候,英语老师D英文水平颇高,无奈汉语不佳。
    某日上课,D老师讲解“独立结构”,举一经典例句:
    "Our teacher comes into the classroom,book under arm."
    然后翻译成中文:“老师进了教室,胯下夹着一本书。”
    顿时课堂上狂笑不已。

     

    打分

    这是班主任讲的笑话
    从前有位老先生给学生打分, 只给三种评分
    最好叫 放狗屁
    其次叫 狗放屁
    最差叫 放屁狗

    杀猪的

    甲生是一位勤奋好学的学生,他利用寒暑假兼职赚取学费。白天帮肉贩割
    肉,晚上则到医院工作。
    某晚,有位老妇因急诊要施行手术,由甲生用轮床推她进手术室。老妇看
    了甲生一眼,突然惊惶失色的狂喊:
    「天那!你是那个杀猪的,你要把我推到哪儿?」

     

    半夜鸡叫

      上初中时,英文课有一章是“半夜鸡叫”。
      老师讲课时,顺代讲了一点英文字词的词根:
         Landlord 地主,是由land 土地,
         lord 主人,两部分组成的 -- “土地”
         +“主人” 就是“地主”
      接着,老师又向大家提问:motherland是什么意思?
      “地主婆!”大家异口同声回答。

    教授说....

    有一天某教授突然停止授课,
    语重心长的对大家说:
    如果坐在中间谈天的同学,
    能像坐在后面玩牌的同学那样安静的话,
    那么在前面睡觉的同学就不会受到干扰了.

     

    哲学系

    某君是辅大哲学系毕业的, 毕业後找不到工作, 一直失业在家。某日,
    一位大学同学介绍他到木栅动物园打工, 他很高兴的去了。原来动物园有只
    老虎临时生病送医, 要他穿上虎皮暂代一下。他想反正也没人看得出是他, 於
    是就答应了。穿上虎皮进了兽笼後就很尽职的走来走去装老虎, 没多久兽笼
    打开, 竟然又进来一只老虎, 他吓得一直往角落退; 而那只老虎一直向他逼近..
    .....最後退到无路可退时, 那只老虎说话了..

    "老兄别怕! 我是台大哲学系的!"

    触电

    今年暑假...
    我到医院实习....
    发生了一件很夸张的事....

    我们学校有间教学医院....
    医院外头正在修马路...
    所以坑坑洞洞的...

    都是砂子跟石头....
    某天.....
    路人甲行经此地....
    砂子跑到鞋鞋里面了....
    所以...就站在路旁的电火条旁边....
    [电火条谓之...电线杆...]
    右手扶著电火条....
    一边斗脚.....
    试图将脚脚里的砂子抖出来...
    抖的抖著...
    後头来了郭路人乙.....
    路人乙以为路人甲触电了...
    就急忙捡起路边的一只大棒子...
    要救路人甲....
    於是将棒子用力的往甲的右手...
    狠狠的敲下企....
    就降子....
    甲因为右手骨折....
    送到我们医院来急救....

    下凡

    这是发生於某学长寝室的真实故事:

    发哥新交一女友, 逢人便吹嘘自己女友的容貌如何美丽....某日
    发哥独坐书桌前看著女友的照片赞叹不已, 直道" 真像仙女下凡....
    " 其室友一时好奇, 忍不住欲借照片看看下凡之仙子, 准备" 惊奇"
    一下; 结果看完後只有一个问题: " 你这个仙女下凡时....是脸先著地吗 ? "

    叫甚麽

    话说有一位害羞的小男生,相中一位相貌姣好,姿态优雅的女子.羞涩的他
    每天偷偷的观察她的生态,终於找出一个周期 --------她每星期某日必在
    某一面店吃面.
    他觉得时机已然成熟,於是某日便先行在面店等她,待她进店坐定,他深深的
    吸了一口气,鼓足勇气,大步向前问她的名字.
    他说:小姐,你叫甚麽?
    那小姐睁著她的大眼睛,对著他说:我叫牛肉面.

    动物

    老师: 你脚上穿的是什么?
    学生: 是皮鞋
    老师: 那皮是从哪儿来的?
    学生: 是从牛身上来的
    老师: 那么, 供你皮鞋穿, 还供你肉吃的动物是什么?
    学生: 是我爹.

    言简义赅

    我的中学同桌向以言简义赅闻名。一天班里开团会,长的让人无法忍受。
    最后征求每个人有什么意见,问到他时,他答曰:“尿意。”。?

    化石

    地质系学生做野外实习,一个学生碰巧发现了一块大化石。讲师甲说
    这是一块树木化石,讲师乙坚持是一根恐龙腿骨。双方争论不已。学生
    们不知道是谁说得对,但是他们知道两位讲师都要给他们的实习报告
    评分,於是一个聪明的同学在报告上写,发现的是恐龙的木腿。

     

    对联

    国文老师在台上讲解对联,举例说:「从前某报社曾公开徵求『南通
    州北通州南北通州通南北』的下联,结果投稿信件很多,有句对的很
    好,就是『东当铺西当铺东西当铺当东西』。」此时一位调皮的学生
    突然叫道:「男学生女学生男女学生生男女。」

     

    测谎器

    爸爸有一个测谎器,他问德华:"你今天数学成绩如何呢?"
    德华回答道:"A" 测谎器响了!
    德华又说:"B" 机器也响了!
    德华又改说:"C" 机器又响了!
    爸爸很生气的叫道:"我以前都是得A的!"
    这时,测谎机却翻倒了!

     

    鸟试

    话说 某校动物系 某学科期末考试(至於 是哪一学科, 已非重点,
    在所不问). 老教授 提著一个用黑布罩著的鸟笼, 只露出两条
    鸟腿. 考试题目就是: 由观察到的鸟腿 写下此鸟的种类.
    某学生辛苦准备考试数周, 结果啥都没考, 就考出这样的
    鸟试, 他又不会.. 火大了, 就拍一下桌子, 提前交白卷了(不写姓名学号)
    !! 老教授因而很生气, 要那位学生留下姓名来....
    那学生 只把裤管拉了起来, 露出毛腿来, 对老教授说: "你猜我是谁"!!

    验算

    一位监考老师正纳闷的盯著一位学生在掷骰子,奇怪的是.....
    那学生同一题掷好几次....
    便问那学生为什麽??
    那学生无奈的回答说:难到不用验算吗??

    教授

    “我今天带来一只青蛙,”动物学教授对学生们说,“刚从
    水塘里捉来的。这节课我们要解剖青蛙。”
    他拿出一个纸盒,小心地打开。盒子里是一块火腿三明治。
    “奇怪,”教授十分惊讶,“我明明记得吃过午餐了嘛。”
     

    可笑的高明

    有个农学院的毕业生回到家乡,见老园丁在移植果树。便说:“你这种
    移植方法很不科学。照你这种干法,从这棵树上能收获 7 个苹果就够让
    我大吃一惊了。”
    老园丁看着他,慢吞吞地说“不光是你,我也很惊讶。因为这是一棵桃树”

    点名

    有一个刚毕业的师范老师到一所小学教一年级的新生
    她第一件事就是要求学生把自己的名字写在作业簿上
    之後她收回作业簿再一个一个叫名字发回去, 同时借此认识学生
    可是有一本, 她喊了十次都没人来领........
    "黄肚皮! 黄肚皮! ..... 怎麽搞得, 人跑哪去了!!" .................
    最後全部发完後还是剩下那一本, 於是 "还没拿到的人举手!!"
    这时有个个子小小的女生举了手, 老师问: "你叫什麽名字?"
    ".....黄月坡, 老师........"

    惩罚

    法律学校的一次考试:
    "重婚罪的惩罚是什么?"
    回答:"两个丈母娘"

    考完了

    王友期末考试成绩不理想. 于是给弟弟拍了个电报, 请父亲作好思想准备.
    不久弟弟回电:" 父亲已经准备好, 现在请你作好思想准备."

    卧谈

    某夜, 一男生宿舍卧谈会持续至凌晨三点, 突然想讨论一个问题: "碰到一个
    漂亮姑娘, 首先该说什么?" 某君从梦中惊醒, 曰: "甭说了, 咱们睡吧!"

    作弊

    "波洛涅斯由于作弊被开除了."
    "怎么回事啊?"
    "在生理卫生考试中,他数自己的肋骨,结果被发现了."

    作文

    小时候同桌语文差劲,作文特费劲。一次老师要我们写一篇作文名字叫>
    他可痛了,该怎么写才能及格呢?
    第一句∶今天天气很好,阳光照耀大地,天空中万里无云。
    没词了
    思考。。。。。
    第二句∶蔚兰的天空中飘着朵朵白云。。。

    教授是个和善而幽默的老头,班上有个高大强壮的体育生。每次上课当教授的声音

    起时,体育生开始睡觉,直至下课准时醒来。有一天体育生到了,教授亲切地对他
    说:"JACK,以后请不要迟到,这会影响你正常睡眠的".

    规定

    一日数学课,象以往一样,同学们都在认真的听讲,计笔记。讲到重要处。
    老师突然以加重的口气说:“这是规定!”接着老师又以询问加反问的口气说:“
    什麽是规定?”大家茫然,一个个瞪大了眼睛。老师以耐人寻味的口气说:
    “龟腚就是王八的屁股!”鸦雀无声。
    少顷,老师恍然大悟道:“对不起,说错了,说错了”。 哗然。

    清华教师

    清华某青年教师喜爱麻将, 有一次, 他玩了一通宵, 他第二天早上7:40
    有课, 他七点半下了麻将桌, 赶去四教上课. 正好这日值日生未擦黑板.
    他大生叫一声:"哪一个做庄." 值日生不敢应声, 他只好自己擦, 可是
    黑板擦子找不着, 他又大生地叫了一声:"白板放到哪儿去了?".....

    这节是语文课,在讲生词时,老师拿起粉笔,在黑板上写了一个“中国”,
    然后说:“同学们,请看白板,这上面有一个红中。”

    要公猪才行

    乡村小学的一个学生迟到,他向老师解释说:“我今天早晨要把一头猪送去配种。”
    老师问:“这事你爸爸不能做吗?”
    “不行,一定要公猪才行。”

    味道

    语文老师发现张三上课睡觉,比较生气,于是弄醒张三问到:你怎么上课睡觉。
    可是,张三拒不承认睡觉。
    张三:我没有睡觉。
    老师:那你干吗闭上眼睛。
    张三:老师,我在默念课文。
    老师不信,说:那你干吗直点头。
    张三:老师,你讲课讲的很好。
    老师还是不信,说:那你干吗直流口水。
    张三:老师,你的课讲得很有味道。

    日行一善

    老师问两位学生:「你们今天有没有日行一善啊?」
    两位学生齐声答到:「有啊!」
    老师问:「做了什么事?」
    学生:「我们扶一位老太太过马路。」
    老师:「嗯,很好,但是扶一位老太太过马路,为什么要两个人呢?」
    学生:「因为那位老太太本来不想过马路的。」

     

    结 论

    课堂上教授对学生一连串的提问不胜烦恼,无可奈何地说:�?个傻瓜提出的问题比十
    个聪明人能回答的问题还要多。难怪考试的时候我们那么多人不及格。

    各 有 解 释

    一学生提出“打人与被打有何不同” ,请教老师。 历史老师:打人是侵略者,被打
    是受害者。 英文老师:打人是主动式,被打是被动式。 物理老师:打人是施力,被
    打是抗力。 教导主任:各记大过一次。

    一个心不在焉的教授

    “我的鞋呢?”下课的时候心不在焉的教授喃喃地问道。
    “在你的脚上呢,”有一个学生说。
    “呵,可不是吗,幸亏你看见了,要不我会光着脚回家的。”

      有一天晚上,心不在焉的教授很晚才回家。走到门口时他突然想起忘了带钥匙。
    他敲了半天门他妻子才起来开门。因为天很黑,她没有认出他来,于是解释说:
    “对不起,先生,教授不在家。”教授和平时一样心不在焉,他回答说:“那好,
    我明天再来吧。”

      心不在焉的教授病了,不得不住进医院。大夫来到他的病房门口时,护士说:
    “教授,大夫来了。”可怜的教授哼了哼说道:“告诉他我现在不能见他。我病得
    太厉害了。”

    眼睛长在前面

      老师:“打雷时,闪电和雷声同时发出,为什么我们先看到闪电,后听到雷声
    ?”
      学生:“因为眼睛长在耳朵前边。”

    原来如此

    学校一年一度旅行时,初中的男女生因为兴趣不同,总是分开来玩。女孩子穿
    着游泳衣走来走去,一方面显示自己,一方面享受阳光。男孩则卷起裤子在水里捉
    小鱼。
    看管这些孩子的一个教师慨叹说:“我不记得我读初中时,女孩子有没有这么
    成熟的。”
    “当然有,只过你当时在忙着捉小鱼罢了!”另一个教师淡然地说。

    什么是赤壁之战?

      学生:“老师,什么是赤壁之战?”
      老师:“赤臂嘛,就是光着膀子,赤壁之战,自然就是光着膀子打仗了。”

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    One ,historical figures ( Qing ) profile of Song Jingshi ( 1842 ~ ?) At the end of the leader .How to .Poverty at an early age ,love learning boxing club ,become a Kung Fu master .Slightly long will make a living away from home ,boxing show ,and in many places, any martial arts instructor ,the apprentice thousands of people .
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    The Qing government had to rush all the armies of Song Jingshi the black flag army encirclement .Song Jingshi was in Shenxian City area ,Tangyi ,fight ,defeated the qing .Finally, the use of Qing ,forcing the black flag army retreated to the small Liu Guanzhuang .
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    After the south again ,and their rendezvous .Tongzhi four years ( 1865) ,the black flag army bypass ,reentry Shandong ,coordination ,induce a rear seng-ko-lin-ch Department encircled .
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    In two ,the film of the same name ( Chinese Title :basic information 1955 ) ,screenwriter ,director Song Jingshi ::::Ding Bohe Ji photography recording art :Lu Jingguang ,music: Ge Shicheng clip: Makeup : Wang Tiebin stunt design :historical Consultant :Deputy Director: assistant director :new road ,field director :yellow can associate producer director: Simon accompaniment :Orchestra ,a Band Conductor :released 1955 :Color :black and white film :3834 meters of language: Mandarin types :Drama chief actor .
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    .. Dai Luanxiang Gao Xiaoou... - Kochi plot introduced that the end of the Qing Dynasty, the Qing government to extort excessive taxes and levies decadent people ,the people are destitute .
    Shandong Tangyi county farmer Song Jingshi led his uprising ,leading soldiers and white lotus http://www.emporioarshop.com/emporio-armani-ar5905-mens-chronograph-rose-tone-black-watch-p-3686.html Emporio Armani AR5905 - Mens Chronograph Rose Tone Black Watch,the Nian Army fought refuse to pay levies and taxes .Yang Mingqian ,Wang Erxiang sends under Wang Zhanao leads the group to the black flag army attacked, the Qing generals win and also to the black flag army for him .
    In critical condition ,Song Jingshi in order to save fighting strength ,surrender to qing .After taking the opportunity to renew pull a team ,from Shaanxi back to Shandong ,defeated the Liulin group ,and the landlord Yang Mingqian .
    But the court subsequently sent seng-ko-lin-ch repression of the black flag army ,the British imperialist foreign teams and host armed also involved .The black flag army be besieged on all sides ,even hit ,Song Jingshi and wife and some other soldiers were killed .
    But Song Jingshi does not yield ,persuaded the soldiers ,was through adding ,and brother together forces continue to fight against the Qing and the alien invaders .Behind the scenes the film creators in the historical source material in the foundation ,emphatically describes Song Jingshi in the Qing ,the anti-imperialist struggle of the distinctive personality ,but also pointed out that the protagonist social and historical limitations .
    The film is in the critical after beginning at conception ,its purpose is to use point of view ,a true representation of people struggle history ,and through to the peasant uprising hero ,the performance of people is a hero of ideological history .
    The film has a distinctive national style ,and in the romantic and historical unity have higher achievement .Song Jingshi plays Cui Wei ,although is the first screen ,but he to smooth the spirit and creative passion to better performance of the heroine of the temperament and character ,begin to display artistic talents .

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    How does the service work? First you have to go to a Christian Louboutin men’s concept store with a Tattoo Parlor (locations in Paris, New York, Hong Kong, Los Angeles and London). The staff will take a photograph of your tattoo then they will send the image to Paris where the designer himself will review and approve it. From there you pick the type of shoe, the kind of fabric and embroidery, the colors and the placement. The Paris team will then work on the design then send the drawings and materials to Italy and India for production and embroidery. The service takes about three months after final approval. A considerable wait, but when you really think about it, it’s a small sacrifice because at the end of the waiting period you have a pair of shoes that no one else in the world has.

    “It started as an idea of a present for a friend, I made a pair of shoes for him embroidered with his tattoo. A lot of my friends have tattoos, I realized that it’s not only just a part of pop culture but a bit of a map on someone’s body which says something about people. A part of their life, like an armor or a crest. Instead of carrying someone else’s crest on a loafer, I thought it would be modern armories, your own crest on your own shoe. Instead of a classical made to measure bespoke shoe, which other men’s shoe brands do very well, this is my modern approach to bespoke, ” said Louboutin.

    The service is also offered to women but limited to four styles of shoes.

    Click on the slideshow to see samples of shoes from Christian Louboutin’s tattoo service.

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